I Forgot About The Blog Again

 I'm sorry. So here's the beginning of an essay I wrote on finding out about factory farming;

I ordered a duck club sandwich at an outdoor café in Paris and considered myself living the good life. I’d never eaten duck before, nor had I been to Paris, but since I was only fourteen and I was sitting with my parents, there was no real cause for such an inflated sense of self. My sassy older sister seemed to be experiencing the same burst of worldly independence, though she had the nerve to angle her chair away from the rest of us. Dad was tickled that I had ordered duck. As a simple family from James Island, the idea of consuming any bird other than chicken was lofty and refined - possibly too big for your britches. With enthusiastic spontaneity, Dad quacked at me as I took my first bite and it caused an immediate, heartbreaking revelation. Think how many broken hearts have sat, quietly brooding outside of a Parisian café; how wonderfully romantic. But how many were caused by the sudden realization that a duck died for your sandwich? The reality dawned on me as my dad continued to cluck and flap his elbows. I stopped mid-chew, completely repulsed. My sister edged farther away from us.

Though I haven’t eaten duck since that one bite that day, I can’t say why the Duck Club Revelation of 2004 didn’t cross the Atlantic with me on my way home. Life in a “meat and three” region doesn’t promote existential thinking about the origins of your meals. The popularity of eating some animals over others tainted my reason. Chickens were made for eating because idyllic marketing images said so, but ducks, well, they swim in ponds with fuzzy yellow ducklings and scoop up breadcrumbs. It would be cruel to eat the family.

 

Fourteen years later, after our muggy, backyard wedding, my new husband and I sat to write our wills. I had fought against taking his last name because I am not a trinket under his ownership. “That’s not what it means,” he scoffed, equal parts proud of and annoyed by my independence. We did however agree that if one of us kicked the bucket, we should have the right paperwork in place to prove that we loved each other. Both of our wills say, "he/she gets it all," but the lawyers wrote it in Shakespearean for some reason. Signed, sealed, filed away in case of emergency. But what if we’re smothered out together, holding hands in a fiery blaze at an illegal Folly bonfire? What would happen to our "assets" (small collection of animals and one overpriced rug)? We spent time researching non-profit organizations that do a good job allocating finances to the causes rather than the well-meaning pockets that started them. That’s when I had a second Duck Club Revelation.

"Wait, go back," I said, as The Fella clicked through the pages. "What's that one?".....