What Have I Done

Have you heard I've gone rogue? Take a gander at this Lux & Union

I realized that working for myself would theoretically be more profitable and more importantly, I’d be much happier. You know how I feel about the ridiculous concept of having to report to others. “Here’s what I’m doing. Here is my lunch hour. I’m going to use the bathroom now. Let me know if you have questions.” …etcetera

In the last few years of working I’ve discovered that I have no patience for downtime within the parameters of my job. That is to say, if I’ve finished my work, it hurts my soul to stand around until 5:00 or until I am legally dismissed. It angers me somehow. Perhaps because I’m very efficient or perhaps because the entire time I’ve been employed by others I’ve also had my own projects going on that I find much more interesting and rewarding. I’d rather forgo a few hours pay if it means I am free to do my own thing.

So I’m doing my own thing. I’m my boss. I own a business. I have to make sure I survive. Wait. What? Suddenly, life seems a touch more stressful. Suddenly I’m responsible for making something work. Suddenly I understand all those annoying bosses I’ve had that took employee meetings to a level of seriousness that didn’t need to be present in a cupcake bakery.

My brain now runs around offering ideas and thoughts and scary concepts even after I’ve told it that it’s time for bed and I’m no longer taking suggestions for today. I secretly like thinking about it all. I’m secretly thrilled. I’ve got lots of good thoughts for Lux though a lot of them can’t be done until I really get things off the ground.

I do still have my job with the hotel. Last week I told them that in four weeks I would be putting in my two weeks notice. This is because I love my boss dearly and don’t want to leave her at all. Two weeks notice is just not enough time for us to prepare for being away from each other. I do believe we will be lifelong friends and that’s the only thing that makes me feel ok saying goodbye. I’ll miss all four-hundred hotel employees and the mailman, Doug who has the most contagious happy attitude and is already giggling before he even comes inside to give me the mail. Goodbyes are the worst.

Now back to business. I expect Lux to have a slow start. It’s the event industry after all and most events confirm their vendors at least six months out. Six months from now will be the event dead season. I imagine it will be March before I can even hope for consistent work. How will I survive in the mean time? I’ve not figured that out yet. I have some thoughts, one of which I’m unexpectedly excited about, but I can’t think about those other things just yet. I’m busy trying to figure out all the social media things I’ve blissfully not partaken in. Suddenly I have to be concerned about Instagram followers. That’s a stressful little world I’ve never paid attention to before. I spend a lot of time worrying about Instagram now. How do you keep people interested in hundreds of pictures of flowers?