Monday, September 30, 2013

End of Summer

As a final end to our long, humid summer days, the four of us goobers spent a day on the dock. Ellen kicked off the festivities donning Dad's old wetsuit and two lifejackets, one she referred to as her diaper.



Ellen, Budds, and I headed out first. We planned to tow the windsurfing board behind a jet-ski to see if we could "surf" on it. Unfortunately, Dad ties knots too tight and we couldn't bring out any of our toys with out his help so instead, Ellen floated around and I modeled the very jet-ski I tirelessly worked to rescue just three short days ago. It and I are now very close friends, though that's a fiasco that is much too long and I am sill to sore to type.



Finally, Mom and Pops showed up and our day of fun in the sun turned into a day of pleasing Ole Budds. That pushy dog just HAS to go with you.


Look where he is sitting.


Later, Dad ruined what could have been a lovely portrait.


And just moments after this, Mom got hit by a runaway surfboard. Don't worry, she's fine. The thing slid out of its harness and slapped the old lady in her right hand and thigh. Her fingers are stiff today and though she only mentioned this in passing, Dad told her to "stop whining."

When the day was done, Giggles and Dave came over for a Low country boil, ice cream, and a football game. Carolyn impressed us with her NFL knowledge asking for each players handicap and stating that he was "shooting from downtown."



Thursday, September 26, 2013

It's Ellie's Birthday


Nothing to see here. Just two nice girls on a family vacation enjoying sunshine and breakfast pastries. Little do you know, these two seemingly innocent sisters were previously a part of a sick and illegal, underground acrobatics cult. While they are both now on the road to recovery, sometimes they just can't help themselves.









It is tradition for Bellie and I to put on a show after our Sunday dinners. Majority of the time they take place on the kitchen floor so that Mom can watch while she does the dishes. While I sometimes eat so much that our show must be postponed, Ellen is always ready to play. Her drive to perform is never hindered by excessive amounts of rib meat or garlic bread. Her ability to "keep it down" while jumping, flipping, and kicking is uncanny.

Happy Birthday Stinky!!! You fancy-footed tumbler you.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Finally Fall

It's never felt like Fall in the Fall before but it sure does now. As I recall from the Boone Hall days, October provided some of the hottest days of the year. It's cold now. Well, not cold per-say, but I need a jacket when I wake up in the morning and that's enough for me. I love Fall for it means that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. I just love those. This is also the first time I've ever been excited about cooler weather. I'm real tired of worrying about my heat index.

The downside to the cool weather is that my dock days come to a near end. It gets too cold out there for dancing, kayaking, and belly-laughs. All the marsh grass turns brown and the fiddlers burrow down for the winter. It gets lonely out there.

Alas, it has not happened yet. Right now the weather is just perfect!







In family news, Mom and I have decided that it is my dusty bedroom that has lead me to having a cold since I've been back from Wales. I have had a cold for twenty-two days. So we've been going through my room and throwing out dusty childhood relics and any and all school related papers. We are 75% finished with this job. I really do feel better already. I could breathe through my nose when I woke up this morning. We take that for granted. I've never been a mouth breather. It naturally closes when I think and sleep. I keep waking up gasping for air because my mouth closed itself.

That's off topic. So Mom and I are good. Ellen is in her standard frenzy about life and Dad has been extraordinarily busy. I've probably spent an hour with him total since I've been back -this excludes game and meal times. Things should be calming down for him very soon though. I also haven't seen much of Chris as he too, has been a busy fella.

Also, I've had an epiphany about life. It's a good one.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Calm Rides and Terrible Tantrums

The Aqua Dog and I went for a ride. It was so quiet and peaceful. Even Buddy didn't pierce the silence with his shrill bird calling. Actually, prior to the calm ride, I was forced to jump into the harbor in my clothes because Buddy got a little overzealous and pushed the kayak off in to the water. I watched it float farther and farther away, arguing with myself, denying that I would have to jump in fully dressed.








In less tranquil news, Finn fell asleep again, while I was in the middle of a comedy routine!


This was no ordinary nap though. He fell into a deep, sweaty kind of sleep and woke up refusing the world. When Ari watched the little guy she told me she would sit in the car, in the driveway while he slept. "Waking him up is rough" she tells me. So I left him in the car and I went into the house, enjoying a juice-box and the family dog, Moxie. He woke up 10 minutes later when I was loading his guitar into the backseat. We had to leave for practice in 20 minutes. Though I warned him we would be leaving soon, he shot out of the car, up the porch, and promptly fell asleep on the sofa.


This was my downfall. 

If ever there was someone who understands the heart-wrenching sick feeling of being abruptly awoken from a nap for purposes other than saying home, it's me. From middle school through high school, Ari would wake me up from my afternoon nap to take her dogs for a walk. And I would curse her in my mind. Oh I'd be so mad and cranky and hot. I feel sick when I wake up from naps, yet I continue to take them. Mom would ask me why I would go with Ari if it made me so mad. Turns out my love for her is stronger than my love for spontaneous napping (though its very close). And so I would go. And I would not speak for the first few minutes until I felt better and my blood sugar leveled out again. And then I would be thrilled to walk with her. In fact, our after-school dog walks as a whole, are among my fondest memories.

Finn has not yet reached the "fester in silence" stage. I woke him up cautiously, fearful of the limp body tantrums I had laughed about on Ari and my dates at the Surf Bar. I shook the little guy awake and luckily the disorientation and confusion stage lasts longer for him than it does for me. I managed to get him into the car and buckled in before he realized what was going on. "NOOOOO!!!!!!!!" he screamed with tears rolling down his cheeks. His little face turned red and his hands were in fists. "I don't WANT to go to guitar!! I HATE guitar!!!"
"Finn you love guitar." I reminded him, as I pulled out onto the highway. I wondered if someone would pass me, look in the window, and assume I had kidnapped him. He sure doesn't look like me. Though I'd also hate for them to assume I was an unmarried bimbo. "I. Want. My. MOM!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted. He was also saying something that I couldn't quite distinguish and while it struck me to laugh, I decided that would be offensive and perhaps even sinister. Is it wrong to laugh? The poor kid thinks he's in agony and truthfully, if someone woke me up to pluck a few sweet sounding strings, I too would boycott that day. 

Once we made it to the parking lot, I walked around, unbuckled him and tried to maneuver him out of the car. Just as warned, his little body went limp and he dropped to the floor of my car, his tiny body oozing down like putty and settling into a ball. 
"Come on Finn we have to go. I promise, we'll go straight to Mom after." and I delicately grabbed his little wrist.
"OOUUCHH!!! YOU'RE HURTING ME!!!!!" he yelled for the whole lot to hear. After yanking him by his hips and legs while he held on to the car door, I finally scooted him into the music building and warned his teacher that he had just woken up. 
When I picked him up thirty minutes later, he was talking and laughing and asking me what games I wanted to play when we got home. 

I don't even blame him for all this. 
I understand Finn. You go ahead and cry while you can. I wish I was allowed to cry.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Monday, September 16, 2013

Home Time Things

I have officially settled back into my life and gone and announced my return to my various friend groups. I was trying to hide away and pretend I wasn't back yet but someone caught me. Now that Ari and Jared are gone, I've had to up my personableness with my second-string friends so that I don't end up crawling back into my antisocial cave. I really like my second string friends - they're all just so much cooler than me. I find them somewhat intimidating. Also, I'm usually the only girl around, which I don't mind, but when you hang out with big groups of dudes, you talk less about things you hate and you have to up your quick wittedness. It's an exhausting job.

In family news, I made them play Monopoly.


It was right when I had gotten home and I wanted to play Shanghai but Ellen couldn't stomach it and somehow found Monopoly to be less offensive. Now here's the thing, when Chris Union plays Monopoly it becomes an entirely different game. It's not a slow-paced game of family fun. It's a battle. It's serious. There is no time to waste when there is property to be developed. Dad has memorized the price of each property and the rent with one or two houses. Before your dice even stops rolling he blurts out "Marvin Gardins. $280. Wanna buy it?"
He anticipates each and every move and comes up with schemes to swipe your own properties out from underneath you. We decided it was time to expose Chris to this and still, Dad held nothing back. 

"Rolled a nine? That's Kentucky Ave. Ellen owns it. You owe her $18. Mom, it's your turn."

And the game continues on in this fashion. Really, Dad plays this game alone. We are there simply to roll the dice for our turn. I imagine that to him this is a "fun" version of what he does everyday. Buying, fixing, and selling houses. What's he like in real life Monopoly? 
You'll notice in the picture that I owned both Boardwalk and Park Place, each with a little house. You'd think I'd be doing good. Ten minutes later Dad owned it all and I was left with nothing. 
So while they played, I made a peach cobbler. 


While for the time being I'm postponing acquiring a morning job, I now spend my afternoons as Finn's official chauffer.


He's a cute little dickens with a very busy schedule. I pick him up from school at 3:00 and then we go to art or guitar or whatever that day's lesson is. He get's a bit cranky when he's tired, as do I, and he also suffers from hangriness. I make sure he has bag of snacks for the ride but sometimes he just sleeps. I try my best to entertain him but I get very little feedback. He's a relatively serious kid who finds no humor in anything I say. I'm coming up with comedy gold over here and I just get blank stares in return. Like I'm the foolish one. He's back there strapped into a plastic bucket and I'M the foolish one. "Listen kid, the Honbon's would love this stuff!"
"The what?" he says with one eyebrow raised. 
He does laugh at my voices and accents but I'm afraid that's the only thing that's worked a smirk onto the kid's face. 

You just wait Finn. I'll turn you.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Wedding Cake

Yesterday we went for Ellen's wedding cake tasting. This makes me especially happy for two reasons.

1) I LOVE CAKE!!
2) I missed the first cake tasting.

I was in Wales when Ellen brought home a box of 9 different cupcakes to sample for her Big Day Cake. I stayed up until 2am so that I could be sykped in for the event. They put the computer at my place at the table and though I was aimed mostly at Ellen's elbow and a tub of butter, it was reminiscent of my beloved Sunday dinners.

I wanted to be there for the cake tasting for two reasons.

1) I LOVE CAKE!!
2) It's one of those one-time-only, rights of passage kind of deals. You don't miss the cake tasting or the dress shopping or the rehearsal dinner.

I was missing the cake tasting. And it made me sad. To make matters worse, rather than just keeping me up to virtually try cake, I had to watch them eat an entire dinner. It looked delicious. I'd been eating burgers and potato wedges for weeks. The short ribs, hot off the grill, glistening with sizzling splendor, fell right off the bone. Hot, melty cheese oozed over the sides of the spoon as mounds of mac n' cheese were tossed carelessly onto each plate. The bright green of string beans blinded my eyes. The butter melted into liquid gold.
And so they ate. And I watched as their mouths filled with culinary wonder.

This time, I was there. And I ate cake. Gosh it took 15 minutes of yapping about shapes and designs before the lady brought out the good stuff. Twelve different flavors.
Ellen snapped before and after shots of our sugar platter.



And since Dad was out of town we skipped making dinner and ate leftover cake from Mom's, Oh SHOOT!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!!
Aww this makes me mad. I said. I said on. her. birthday. "I'm gonna post about it!"
And I forgot!!! I know I did a post that day. Was that when I was rambling about church? Man. I'm a jerky kid.

Happy Birthday Moppy!!!! What would my life be without you? You silly woman you.




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