A Very Big January

Life has changed in the last thirty days. Lots of big celebrating took place last month for so many different types of occasions that I just couldn’t come out the other end without being a changed man.

We brought in the new year with a party at our home. Brett received a fire pit for Christmas so we brought everyone over for a blazing celebration but it wound up being a really nice evening and the bonfire was too hot. Instead we lit small fires on the front porch and Grace fell asleep in her party hat.

A week later Brett turned 32 so we all got together again to celebrate. I made him a two-faced birthday cake because even though it was his birthday and he likes chocolate cake, my family felt they deserved a peanut-butter cake so I had to make it half & half. Better than my cake though, were sweet Chelsea’s cookies. She hand-painted Brett’s true love on each one.

Then Brett and Dad set out to build a deck on the back of the house. Dad helped with the foundation and then left Brett to meticulously calculate cuts and spacing. It was amusing to watch them work together. Such different brains. Dad barrels through tasks on auto-pilot, relying on muscle memory to complete an action. Brett has logged considerably less hours in the construction department and simply cannot move as quickly. Watching both of them be patient with the other warmed my little heart. They poked fun at each other’s methods of doing things and I felt like the mediator at a polite comedy roast.

Brett and I decided we also want to install a lamp post in our front drive. We asked Dad some opinion and logistics questions and then Brett saw a flicker in Dad’s eyes and said, “Now Chris, I’m doing this. You let me do this one.” 

Dad looked ashamed and admitted that had already worked out a scheme to install the lamp post that week.
“I guess I have to let Brett do these things now.” he said with defeat. 

It’s an adjustment for both of us.

Brett finished the deck last weekend and it’s my favorite morning hangout.

Then the biggest thing happened. After six long years of checking the tour schedule every few months, Mr. Gregory Alan Isakov came to Charleston to play some music and the last of my bucket list boxes were ticked. I love this heartbreaking music so much that I’ve just felt incomplete without hearing it in-person. I’ve got too many great things to say about this concert and though I feel it’s worth babbling on about, I’ll refrain and just hope that you take the initiative to listen to some of his tunes because he’ll connect you to a chunk of yourself that you’ve never been able to put into words. Also, Bill Murray was there, so that made it extra oomphy.

 We've spent heaps of time lately with friends, including these two people.

Their names are Alex and Jessie. They just moved here at the end of the summer and we became friends because Alex broke his nose and Brett had to drive him to a doctor, or something like that. The four of us rotate hosting dinner parties where we have juicy deep conversations about life and humanity and also share riotous stories and witty one-liners. A few weekends ago Alex and I got so tickled together that we now feel we've bonded on a new level. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. 

Ari and I have been discussing our mutual and recent drift from frivolity. While I do love nonsense, I've become intolerant of shallow chit-chat, cellphones, and people with stupid priorities. These have always been annoying things but lately I'm less worried about appearing rude and much more interested in distancing myself from this crap. I got trapped making small-talk this past weekend and instead of listening to them, I was imagining what life would seem like if you could only produce such lightweight thoughts. I wondered what sorts of flimsy explanations you would use to justify things and then I conceded that being so depthless would lead to a strange set of priorities, so really I shouldn't blame a bimbo for thinking her problems were like, major.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"So where are you from?"

"Here. I'm from here. Please excuse me for a minute..."

So my point is, people like Alex and Jessie are fresh finds in a world of social media influencers and the people that accept mindless influencing.

Then this happened!

So we got together again to celebrate. It’s wonderful news and all but I just don’t want to wait a whole year and some change for their wedding. Waiting for good, fun things is so hard.

Hayden and Jenny have been extra giddy since, and a giddy Hayden is an adorable thing. 

This leads into the whole “life has changed” bit I mentioned earlier. This past month we learned about a handful of impending babies, a few friend's weddings, some possible big moves, etc and having these things going on around you makes it impossible to carry on as if your life is within your control -which is a trick I like to play on myself. You're married now. Life can be steady.

As a newlywed, I’m looking out at the calm, peaceful sea in front of us and am naïvely confident that nothing will stir up those waters, even for fun, happy reasons, likes babies and career moves or sudden international adventures. I sure like our calm, peaceful waters. We have available friends, healthy energetic bodies, childless (and therefore not sticky) homes, a sense of spontaneity and a mostly worry-free financial situation.

But I’m too young! There’s too much time for life to make little ripples or giant tsunamis in my little puddle bubble, so now I’m realizing the placid moment I live in right now is precious, precious time.

It’s not going to last. Which is scary. 

Even in the fun ways.