Ahh as I reflect back upon the past year (thats what I'm supposed to be doing, right?) I've realized its the first one that I can't really remember. That's not saying much because I can't remember most things that happen unless they are trivial. For instance, I can remember the names of all four brothers of this guy I went out with one time when I was 19, but can I remember what year it was when Olivia was born? Not a chance.
But per my initial statement up there, I mean that this year chugged along with a sense of chaos and limbo and that makes for disconnected events punctuated by busy-ness, bouts of introversion, and lots of making decisions for future Lue. Thats something I've learned from Brett. He walks around everyday making decisions that will positively affect his future. Can you imagine?
When I'm stumped about something, he asks, "What will Future Lue wish you had done?" and I don't like when he asks me that, because I have to assume Future Lue will just be as lazy as Present Lue and she will understand why I chose what I chose at the time. "Well, she wanted to nap that day," I'll say to myself as Future Lue, looking back on the poor decisions of Past Lue, "I get that."
So sometimes I try to consider Future Me but that almost always means I have to work harder.
When the year started, Brett and I thought we were going to leave our jobs and life behind to be traveling citizens of the world. This kept never happening because Brett couldn't find a convenient time to quit his job and I kept looking at houses for sale. That's how life gets you.
As the year is ending, I'm further shackled to society by having made commitments (both time and monetary) to people and organizations beyond myself and my family.
The sweet part is giving into the bridal burnout and just telling people "no" when I don't want to do something. I never tell Lux people no. The other sweet part is refocusing my time and efforts on this strange new concept... something I'm interested in. What? Is this that motivating passion thing?
When my semester ends in March, I'll be halfway through my grad school program. Does that feel fast to you because I don't talk about it much? No one really acknowledges that I'm in school so I don't get to talk about it. I'll go ahead and tell you that I really love it and my drowsy eyes have been opened to a world of systems and trials and opportunities. Why don't you learn these kinds of good things in middle school? Additionally, all the people in my program are the most lovely, compassionate, slightly-strange-in-a-good-way, creative types and I'm very excited to get to meet them all this coming June when I have to go to the school in-person for a class they can't do online.
Ferguson attends Grad school.
While I will begin/resume a proper job search in the animal advocacy world soon, in the meantime I'm working on a presentation I have to give for a big national nonprofit that focuses on ethics and the like. This will be the second non-profit that has had me present juicy goodness to their members and I find it scary, amusing, and confusing. Apparently, people like hearing me talk. Now don't roll your eyes, I know people like when I tell stories. But these serious presentations that are void of accents and jokes, well, I'd have never thought I'd be the gal.
Anyways, I'm nervous about this upcoming one because I don't really understand what I'm supposed to be teaching everyone. So...
Here's Nick dozing in the car. He's heavy and dense like a small appliance.
The other day Mom referred to him as "Blockbuster."
My grad-school program people have gotten really excited about my writings and have encouraged me to compile essays on each of the subjects we study. They said it in a polite and intellectual way but basically they say I have a way with dumbing down difficult information, subsequently I'm a great educator for the layman. They are also mind-boggled by my use of humor on these subjects. I had one professor admit jealously after I read an easy to the class. I can now die satisfied.
There's been talk of hooking me up with some publishers they know so I really feel the pressure to keep up my pace and get the little collection finished - which is a very good thing. I'm not usually held accountable for my own projects which is why I often abandon them once I become drowsy.
A rare three-pet peace cuddle.
We have accomplished many small house tasks since the holiday break began. They are the sort of fussy little things that you need to get done but that don't actually make your house look like you did anything. We are having an "Unfinished House HouseWarming Party" on Brett's birthday next week (you're all welcome to come) and I just finished ripping all of the plants out of the front yard. Retrospectively, I should have waited until after the big reveal party. Now the place looks like a big dirt patch. I'll post some photos soon - we just want to get a little further along.
I find it fitting that a similar circumstance would cause a needed break from self-imposed blogging demands. This time around though, I do know that Brett loves me. So I at least have that going for me.
I'll keep you updated on the big things while I work out how to save the farm animals and still be able to pay my bills. Those are my new priorities. Let's see how it turns out.
The sweetest picture of the whole year.
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