As it's the first summer in our new place, we're learning lots of fun things like: high ceilings mean the AC never turns off, we have lots of fun summer blooms in the yard, the creek water is much much warmer than the harbor and beach water, and that the sun really blasts into that one room on the side, so it's much too hot in there. We've met more of our neighbors, babied our new front yard sod, and been baking up cobblers and berry pies.
Two posts each month is hard because I only feel compelled to give a recap of things since the last post. Perhaps it's an attempt to account for all the time spent. As though old lady Lue will read through this whole blog one day and wonder what exactly she was doing for those two weeks in July of that year.
The reality is that I'm in a strange and somewhat dejecting limbo state of having no real work to do but really wanting some. I'm scheming my next big thing you see, and I know what it does, but I don't know what it is exactly and moreover, I don't know how to get it up and running in a way that earns me even a meager living. And it's not about the money really. I'd do it for free if I didn't also want to someday buy new pants that fit properly. It's that I don't want Brett to have to work for the both of us. It's not like he looks forward to getting up and clocking in everyday. Sometimes I dream I'll make it big just so he can spend his days doing things he wants to do.
But back to the dejecting bit. Who knew I wouldn't enjoy a life of leisurely lounging? I sure thought I would. It's really all I've ever dreamt of. Turns out it's dreadfully dull, especially you're just going to be sitting by yourself all day, and for some reason you have a headache for most of it. (Is it the heat?) When I imagined being free and jobless, I wasn't worried about appearing unproductive, feeling unaccomplished, or carrying around the icky feeling you get when you lay down for too long.
I think I might actually have some... some... dare I say drive, after all.
Big Mama has been out of the country with her sisters for the last three weeks, which has felt like an eternity. Because she's not so tech savvy, we couldn't really talk to her and it's the first time in my life I've ever felt her absence. It occurred to me that this is what it will feel like when she's gone, when I can't just call my best friend. And instead of that being very very sad, which it could be if I let myself go there, instead it just felt very very bizarre, unfamiliar, and like the world was just a little bit less sparkly than before. Luckily I got to pick her up from the airport on Wednesday and talk 3 weeks worth of thoughts at her on the drive home.
Last weekend Ellen incubated and spread some sort of mutant stomach trouble that managed to infect the majority of her family members, myself included. It can only be described as a unique and terrible experience. A few weeks ago Grace tore her ACL attempting to escape from the yard (ungrateful) and she's been in a bad mood since. We have the option of a $3500 surgery and 8 weeks rehab or we can just let that lazy 10 year old dog hang out in the AC on painkillers like she likes to. We think we've made the right decision but she is understandably restless without her long evening walks. When the tide is right, we let her swim and she had taken to it with a previously withheld enthusiasm.
So to recap we've done lots of good yard work and are about to tackle our master bath. I finally figured out what I want that space to feel like, so I'm itching to get started. We've been enjoying the evening high tides with lots of swimming, kayaking, and pup wrangling. And using our day times to appease The Man and stew over the meaning of existence.
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