Be Kind

In reading my last few ranty posts I thought I’d avoid writing anything with my opinions sprinkled into them and instead ramble about something delightful but yesterday was MLK day and as a self-involved white person, it’s easy for me to carry on with my normal routine without really thinking about what that means. I’ll tell ya though, I’m a fan of Ole Marty Lu. His work is really something to admire.

I have a peeve towards the phrase, “My parents taught me not to see color.”

I find that actual scenario to be unlikely. “Hey little Jimmy. See that black man?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well pretend he’s not a black man.”

What should little Jimmy pretend then? Pretend he is a white man, because you think he wishes he was one? Or pretend he is a white man so you can be oblivious to his reality? The very act of teaching someone not to “see color” would involve having them identify someone different from them and then… act casually? I find, in my tiny world, that the opposite should be true. You should see colors. You should see the cultures and backgrounds and ideas of people who are different from you so that you can be aware and respectful, and maybe even learn something from them. You should see a black person or an Asian person or a Jewish person or a gay person and consider what life is like for them and then treat them accordingly. Assume you’re speaking to a kind person and then imagine what it’s like to be targeted because of what other people like them have done or what is believed about people like them. This is true across the board, even for white people. You should not assume a white businessman thinks he is superior and powerful or that a white college girl hashtags her thoughts and speaks in acronyms.

I think it's ignorant to act like there aren’t ethnic or religious or even political divides. I think you should be kind to everyone and if you are also going to be considerate towards them, you should have some idea of where they come from. You'd be more tasteful than to complain to a fat person about your struggle to gain weight (unless they were your fat friend) or to harp about your Christmas bonus to the hourly repair-guy fixing the printers. The same consideration should be in place for speaking to anyone with a different belief system or background or anything really. You should try to know who you are speaking to. Don’t lump them in with other people and don’t act oblivious to their trials. If you don’t know who you’re speaking to, you should ask or just be nice to them because life is hard for everyone in some way or another and being mean has never been especially productive.

If you’re going to be mean to someone, well I can support that too. But make sure it’s targeted to that person’s crummy actions and character rather than their skin color or who they pray to. There are too many wonderful, colorful lives on this planet for anything to be unanimous so we should delight in the fun of the differences and be respectful about the difficult ones. To think there is any one correct way to live life is a very silly thing to think.

My parents never had to tell me to treat everyone the same. Little kids aren’t racist. They learn that crap from crappy adults and media instigators. Life is so short and our little lives are so unimportant. If you don't like gay people or Italian people, consider that you're making grand assumptions. If you don't like close-talkers or people who eat all of the granola out of the cereal box, then just don’t hang out with those people. It really is that simple. 

To quote one of the most quotable men in history,

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” – Martin Luther King Jr.