The First Few Days

Ahh boarding cruise ship. Though I have an ethical issue with the cruising industry, I'll admit that those first few hours are especially thrilling. While Ellen studied the ship's layout months in advance, I enjoyed wandering around to get my bearings. Despite it being a relatively small boat, the decor created a confusing geo-location challenge. The front of the boat looks an awful lot like the back of the boat. Choose your elevator wisely. We all climbed aboard and ate lunch while we waited for our rooms to be ready. Chris Union, however, lives in his own world where there are no rules, so he took himself down to his room even though they asked everyone not to do that. He unpacked and made himself right at home. 

From this day on, the many stops of our Mediterranean adventure would begin to blur together. Is this Spain? No, France... I think. They were all lovely stops; rocky hillside towns with tiny cars and stone buildings. Windy streets, exciting plants, and room temperature water. What more could a culture-seeking American need? 

Notes from the Journal:

Oct 14 - Cadiz Spain; Dad continues to mispronounce words and giggle at his own nonsense. To help him remember we were in Cadiz, I said, "Looka deez!" and then fondled some air boobs. He loved it but Mom got mad at me. Ellen stayed behind today (our first stop) to play on her phone. She says she is tired. We lugged around a jug of distilled water so that Carolyn could flush out her nose with it later. Ellen texted that she wanted to join us, so she did, and ten minutes laters she said, "I'm done. Anyone going back to the ship?"

Most nights we ate dinner as the group of 9 that we were. I liked the big family dinners. Oftentimes Hailey and I were the faintest bit seasick in the evenings which made it difficult to eat like pigs. After supper there was either a show, a comedian, or a band playing somewhere. Alston and Hailey befriended the bartender near the casino and spent most nights there making friends with assorted staff and guests. Dad and Dave would take their chances at the craps table while the Leisure Club and I found ways to entertain ourselves. Ellen would go to bed right after dinner but she did come to a show one night and up to the "dance club" twice. 

Due to the clientele of the ship, there was lots of depressing people-watching to be done. Except for a well behaved four year old that stayed down the hall, I think we were the youngest youngsters. I'd suggest that the median age of the guests was "the sixties" and most of them were hefty. Overtime Dad became disgusted by their "big swaying butts."

Our second stop was Casablanca which I'll go ahead and tell you was a big, uninviting dirty city. There was smog, litter, and people pooping on the sidewalk. But don't give up on it yet. Ellen told us we needed to take a bus ride an hour northeast to Rabat and everything would be different. Ellen doesn't mess around with travel plans. All nine of us climbed aboard a big bus and drove out of the smog along the coast of Morocco and pulled into a lush, green, clean city filled with mosques and parks and smiling people wrapped in beautiful fabrics. 

Notes from the Journal:

Oct 15 - Morrocco; Ellen has elected herself Trip Leader and organizes our activities as needed. She insisted we go to Rabat and she was right, though she's a bit bossy about it. Today we visited two mosques and a casbah. Lots of stray kitties and jokes about knockers. Hailey and I were accosted by women giving henna tattoos. Dad was infuriated by the staining. Says he failed as a father. The casbah was like an eerie Greek village - quiet and dirty but also colorful and picturesque. 

Around suppertime the captain announced that something was wrong with the engine and we would not be leaving the port. The family immediately began plotting what they would do if the rest of the trip was cancelled. I think Switzerland was the solution. Ellen went to bed after supper but the rest of us stayed in "the trough" chatting. Carolyn admitted to having showered for the first time that day and Dad couldn't let it go. Up in the late night dance club was a Ryan Stiles-esque dancing man whose wild moves captivated everyone in the room. We heard many people throughout the trip discussing his unique dancing. 

Notes, continued; Midnight; the ship still hasn't cranked up. Once Ryan stopped dancing, Carolyn and Dave left to go flush out Carolyn's nose while Dad began stoking an existential crisis about growing old. "Look at all these old farts. There's a young person in each of them just dying to get out." 
We did finally leave the port at 2am but to keep us on track, we had to forgo the stop in Gibraltar in favor of a full day at sea, hustling to our next locale. 

Ellen, Dad, and I sat on the back of the boat and had a slow breakfast. We convinced Dad to try Museli for the first time - he really liked it but kept calling it Muslix. With his aging meltdown fresh on his mind, he scooped up a spoonful of wet oats and mashed them into his mouth like a disabled old fart, letting moist clumps ooze down his chin and drop back down onto his plate. It was so convincing that it made me cry. 

Ellen went back to bed after breakfast so Mom, Dad and I sat in the coffee shop and watched the powerwalkers circle the deck. It was windy, and gusts would blow the walkers off course. Dad would voice each of their inner monologues as they walked past and we'd have to stifle our laughter. With an unexpected day at sea, we played shanghai, ate a big lunch and took naps. I watched a movie in our room with Ellen while she enjoyed room service, and otherwise, we didn't really encounter Georgia or any other family members until suppertime. 

Here's Ellie at peak happiness.