Busy Season

Last weekend started Charleston's busy wedding season. I stood out in the cold wind wrapping ivy and vines through an iron archway and dotting it with pink roses. It was icky and girly. I tried to imagine forcing my own Someday-Husband to stand in front of something so far from masculine, rubbing in the fact that he's saying mushy things in front of everyone he knows. I could never do that to a fella.

This wedding was my first encounter with a twenty-three year old Bridezilla who cried upon the sight of her bouquet, upset that it looked too much like the bridesmaid's bouquets. For the record, they were very different. She was upset about a number of trivial things and sat in the Bridal Suite pouting and scrolling through Instagram, ignoring that everyone who loves her had gathered around to celebrate with her.

Upon the sight of the irate and indifferent bride, the groom's mother broke down crying in front of everyone. We tried to console her. She had no husband and no other children and was about to lose her only son to a girl even I had a few choice words for. We all felt bad for the groom's mom but that didn't matter because the bride suddenly realized there was no champagne in her dressing room!!

Just moments before the ceremony, the cold grey sky opened and sprinkled the now awkwardly silent crowd with a chilly rain. The five of us decorators all froze in unison, our eyes bugged out and our jaws clenched shut. Here we'd spent six hours creating this outdoor fairyland for lil' Stalin and now rain? She won't like this. She won't like this one bit. 

So we had one of the caterers distract her and without a word, we packed up our truck and got the hell out of that place before it was too late.

My weekends for the foreseeable future have all been donated to various brides around town. These are always a wonderful source of dramatic entertainment. I've got lots of fun tales that I'd love to share here but I just can't risk it. I'll have to tell you when I see you. 

As for everyone else, Dad's had the flu, Mom has a sore throat, Chris was sick a few days last week, and Ellen's had a cold. I'd avoided my family for the last nine days. I had them over for Sunday Dinner two days ago and now I have a stuffy nose and achy bones. Luckily, I had my sick day off yesterday and it was 72˚. Budds and I spent some time outside though he refuses to pose for my camera. He recognizes the sound of the shutter and will not look at me. He'll stand three feet in front of me and turn his head slightly away. He did finally give me the stink eye.