This Again

Can you believe it's been two years since I last assaulted you with a video montage? What have I been doing? And why do I insist on making these? What about all the good stuff that gets left out? You could argue those are the best moments because I'm not preoccupied filming things and also, the best things can't be filmed. Because the best things are surprises. Spontaneous moments of humanity never to be viewed again. Isn't life a treat? 

So this time, because Brett says the clips are too fast and frantic and jumbled, I let whole moments play out all the way. Uh huh! And, I went in the order that they happened in real life. Yep. Am I on the road to documentary films? 

Do enjoy.

Just Sittin'

Here's a picture of my folks that makes me smile. 

The seemingly topless woman in the back had me wondering what kind of establishment these Magoo's had wandered into. 

I'm coming up on the last two weeks of my first semester of school. I like it heaps and tons more than any other kind of schooling I've ever done; mostly because I'm interested in the subjects but also because I'm allowed to be part of the conversation. Usually, in school, they make you sit down and shut up, but in this kind of school, they ask, "Well, Laura what do you think?" 

No one ever asks for my opinion on anything besides flowers. It's thrilling. I also very much enjoy making the class laugh. I never dared show my personality in school back in the day. I didn't want to be bullied or teased. But here, on virtual school, no one can slap me or ridicule me without the professor hearing it, so I like to offer real-life anecdotes to the subjects we're looking at each week. With such a cast of characters in my life to pull from, I've coaxed smiles out of even the most stoic of classmates. It's the most satisfying work I ever done. I've got my two final project to wrangle over the next couple weeks and POOF! One semester down. 

Here a picture of Stono and Nick tolerating Aunt Lue over Facetime.

Why do Ellen and I FaceTime when we live within walking distance of each other? 
Because going to her house is chaos. 

That's not entirely true. Ellen usually FaceTimes me when she's changing diapers or performing a menial task that she thinks may be the one that breaks her. But it is chaos over there sometimes. I don't like all the damp spots.

And here's a picture of Buddy, just sittin' in the water.

He's too fat and achy to really fling himself off the dock anymore. It's a bit sad, really. But he's still loves to go out on the dock to watch the birds, sit on the end of the ramp, and of course, take big heaping dumps in the middle of the walkway. I'm hoping to take him out kayaking soon. Now that it's almost August the water should be warm enough for me.

Just kidding.

Sort of. 

The Good Stuff: Live

For the first time, I have made one of my juvenile video montages, but I have done it in chronological order. Mostly. 

This one starts in July of last year and oozes on through to, well, June actually but it's close enough.  Enjoy watching Livvy grow, the grass turning green to brown to green again, and Papa Union's front porch dance moves. 

Pesky Pups and A Surplus of Shrimp

On this particular evening, Brett took Grace fishing with Papa Clint, so I took Pippa to Dad's for dock time. Mom was out at band practice so Dad and I thought we'd have a father/daughter supper. When Pip and I got there, Dad wasn't home, but Lee and Olivia happened by on the golf cart. Buddy, Pip, Lee, Olivia, and I all headed out to the dock. It was low tide. I hadn't thought to check first. No matter. Pippa leapt off the dock into the shallow water without thinking about how she'd get back up. The tide was too low for the dog ramp.

Lee shuffled Olivia in his arms as he lowered the ramp anyway. I pulled Pip onto the floating dock by the scruff of her neck and then coaxed her onto the ramp from there, but the rope gave way and the ramp splashed down into the water. Pip fell back into the water but managed to climb the ramp pegs like a ladder to get back onto the dock. Lee passed Olivia to me while he tried to retie the whole rig. Livvy did not want to be held by Aunt Lu and Pip took a sudden and fiendish interest in Olivia. Pip leapt up to sniff Liv and dug her little claws into my leg for leverage. Livvy cried and I played defense as Pippa tried to climb me like a tree. Meanwhile, Lee worked to pull the ramp out of the water by a rope no thicker than an ink pen. Fat Budds took it as an invitation to inspect the ramp and walked out to the end of it and sat down. Lee struggled to hang on. I tried to convince Budds to come back to the dock by dangling a whining Olivia in front of him like bait. Pippa licked at Liv's toes and tired to pull my pants down.

"This is all going horribly wrong." I said to Lee as he endured the full weight of Buddy wound tightly around one hand. Buddy wouldn't budge. Lee couldn't get enough slack to tie it off. 
"I'm going to have to let go," he finally determined, and he slowly lowered Budds into the shallow water. Seeing Buddy in the water, Pippa lept from the dock into the marshgrass and swam over to greet him. The thrill of it gave both pups the zoomies and they swam from the dock, through the pluff mud, up onto the oyster beach between Ari's dock and ours. Lee and I smiled at each other and said, "Well that's not good."

The only hope was to get the dogs to follow us back towards the house. We could pull them out of the marsh near the yard, and anyway, Lee had to get home in the next 10 minutes. Pippa bounded through the marshgrass like a gazelle leaping across an African plain. You'd hear a rustle in the grass and then she'd spring up and out with all four legs perfectly straight, as though she'd jumped from a trampoline. Then she'd disappear into the grass again. She did this so furiously that she had to stop to catch her breath which is something I have never seen her need before. She barreled alongside the dock as we walked back but Budds had turned obstinate. He pretended he could not hear us and ambled off towards Ari's dock. We'd fuss and yell and Budds turned a blind ear. 
But Lee had to get going and I had to catch Pip. We left Budds in the marsh and walked back to the house. Lee and Liv hopped on their golf cart and headed for home. I tied Pippa to the patio, gave her a quick spritz to keep the mud wet (much easier to clean off if it never dries), and set out to retrieve Buddy. 

Moments before I'd arrived at his house, Dad got a call from a friend of a friend who had pounds of fresh shrimp for sale at a great price. No direct descendant of Sadie Union can turn down a deal, so Baba Ganoush set out to collect discount seafood. He happily arrived home with 50 pounds of shrimp that needed beheading and freezing, and fast! He happened to pass Lee and Liv on their ride home and he instructed Lee to dump the baby and come back to help with the shrimp. 

Dad lugged in the cooler of shrimp, put on some 70's rock music, and layered the kitchen counter with newspaper. He cracked open a cold beer, set out a bagging station, and settled in to peel. That's when he noticed, way out in the distance, is that Laura running through the marsh grass?

I'd kept sight of Buddy until he rounded the peninsula on the other side of Ari's dock. Though I called for him happily as though I was not infuriated by the blatant ignorance, Buddy was deep in his imagination, hunting for buried treasure along a forgotten seashore. I jumped into the marsh myself and ran through the reeds as they stung my legs. I thought if I could get close enough to Buddy, he'd let me join his adventure and then I could lure him home. I haven't run through the marsh grass in many years and I'd forgotten how warm and muggy it is in it's thickest parts. I dodged oyster shells and leapt over little streams and scrambled onto Ari's dock for a better view. I yelled once more for Buddy and his head poked though the grass to look at me. He was too far away. I couldn't catch him without having to swim. That's when I accepted that Budd's knows the way home - I just had to hope that he wouldn't tire himself out before he got back to land. I jumped down into the marsh to head back when I heard Dad shouting my name. He was scurrying down Ari's dock. I told him the whole story and we thought we'd take the jet ski out to fetch Buddy. 

"I'll go get the jet ski ready. I need you to put the shrimp back in the cooler and then come back out to the dock to help me get the jet ski into the water." We split from Ari's yard. Dad went back to our dock and I went into the house to cool down the shrimp. I sprayed Pip with the hose again on my way back out to the dock. She was visibly put out with me. Dad and I heaved the jet ski into the water and Pops jumped on to find his furry friend. I watched the marsh grass for movement and noticed our neighbor Jeff was now scurrying down our dock. 

"What's going on? I saw you in the marsh?" he said to me, so I told him the whole story too. Just as Dad passed Ari's dock, we saw Buddy sitting on the beach, resting from his wild time. He was tired. He opted to be deadweight as Dad tried to pull him out of the water and onto the jet ski. Lee arrived on the dock as well. 

"What happened? I saw all the shrimp. And Pippa. You weren't in the marsh when I left." Aided by his misfit search and rescue team, Buddy was hoisted from the muddy shallows and brought back to dry land for a bath. 

The fellas went inside to admire Dad's shrimp bargain while I washed the petulant pups. Buddy was exhausted. Pippa was ready for more. I corralled them in the playroom to dry - they couldn't be trusted loose in the yard - and finally came up into the kitchen, ready for things to go as planned. Dad had somehow conned Jeff and Lee into the beheading and Jeff's wife, Laurel, had joined for the fun of it. We listened to music and told stories and googled proper shrimp freezing techniques. 

Father/daughter supper night turned into a real adventure and everyone involved has several pounds of shrimp in their freezers. 

February

Sometimes, when one big thing happens at the start of the month, you don't really notice much else in the coming weeks because gosh that one thing was huge ... and so tiny and so cute. But a week into this month lil Liv arrived and the rest has been a swirling vortex of tiny diapers and sleepless nights.
Not for most of us mind you. She's already bigger and older looking which is exciting and heartbreaking at the same time. I crappin' love this baby.

Other February moments worth noting are less than noteworthy. Brett has switched from late night studying to a 5am wake up call to study before work. Sometimes I get up with him, my disposition forgotten, and by 7:30am I'm totally pooped and have to go back to bed. I wait for him to leave for work before I crawl back under the big squishy blankets.

(He's also started on putting in some dining room shelves. It's been tricky because our house is comically crooked. I had the same troubles last year when I made our narcissistic family portrait wall.)

Where was I? Ah yes, Brett's been getting up early. Popples Union dances around town cracking his whip and one-liners. He loves hanging out with baby Olivia and has taken to calling me "Number 2." This is due to my birth order and not bathroom humor. He likes to pretend he loves Ellen most and told me I was "born number 2." He laughs loudly at this and then scampers off to make phone calls.
Big Mama has been dividing her time between Grandpa Bob and Ell-ivia. She has lots to do most days and ends her week by helping me with my weddings. I love having her with me because she is always outraged about some aspect of these weddings and it makes me laugh every time.

Here is a list of things that make her mad:
-Bridesmaids that wear the same pajamas while they get ready.
-Late rental deliveries.
-Lengthy "get-ready" timelines for the bridal party.
-Weddings that take up the whole day.
-A particular potty-mouthed bride.
-Non-traditional wedding cakes.
-Bridesmaids drinking champagne in the morning.
-Groomsmen drinking at all before the wedding.
-And she does not like to be rushed.

This past weekend's wedding forced me to acknowledge just how thankful I am to have Mom and Brett (and often times Pops!) helping me with the weddings. We had a particularly tight setup time and I got overwhelmed and snappy and stressed and they both kept calm and ready for my next barking orders. Brett stays up late to drive me to the teardowns (and does the bulk of that whole job) even though it's his Saturday night and he's sleepy.

Olivia had her first Family Dinner which really just means that she got passed around for a few hours. Buddy gets quite jealous when Dad holds her.

Speaking of Budds, he had his cancerous lumps removed and had to wear a t-shirt for a few weeks to keep him from licking his stitches. The t-shirts made his legs look extra skinny so we would laugh at him and he didn't like it. His stitches were removed last week and he's finally back to feeling groovy.

I came across this photo of Brett that I took when we first started dating and was shocked to see him with such short hair. I forgot he ever looked like that. He said he would cut his hair after he passes his test. The test is in April BUT he's just gotten to the point where he can tie it all back when he needs to so he's feeling rejuvenated about the long hair. Can't wait to see what happens.

In an annoying turn of events, LeeLee has the magic touch with Olivia and can soothe the fussiest of moments with his happy smile and gentle coo. Their sleep system works like this: Ellen sleeps from 7 to midnight while Lee cuddles with Liv. Then they switch and Lee drifts off to slumberland while Ellen stays alert, hearing every tiny grunt and squeal. Some nights, thing go awry during the midnight to 5am shift that Ellen works and neither she or Olivia are at peace. Sometimes the fussing goes on for hours and Lee will wake up to the racket, come downstairs, take little Liv in his arms, and she immediately goes to sleep. 

Makes Ellen furious.

January

This month flew by. Looking ahead into this year, January seemed like the perfect time to get organized, do a little lounging, and generally muse about the good things. These things were accomplished mind you, but somehow it felt more bustling and hectic than a normal month of all the expected things. We started our month by celebrating Big Bubba Brett's Birthday. We had two of our favorite couples over for Brett's favorite dinner followed by his favorite decadent chocolate cake. I love celebrating that guy. He's the best thing that's happened to my life.

Just a few days later we had a celebration for little Olivia. We hosted Ellen and Lee's baby shower at our folks' house and had 50 of their friends come through to rub Ellen's round belly. Ellen hated all of the attention. Lee dazzled the crowd. Brett ate most of the mini-quiches. It was a good time. Olivia is scheduled to come early but Ellen could blow at any minute.

Beautiful Chelsea made heaps these cookies for the baby-shower. Isn't she amazing? (She recently started a business making personalized cookies for all kinds of occasions and they're SO exciting.) 

I did some girlie flower arrangements and Dad dazzled with his food spread. Mom prepared the house and fussed over plates and platters and all the little things that go unnoticed when properly executed. It's a thankless job. 

Ellen and Lee in a sea of baby gifts.

Bob moved into an old folks home in Mt. Pleasant, where he has two attendants who argue over which one is his new girlfriend. On a bustling, blowout Friday Carolyn had a birthday, a retirement, and a husband with a hip-replacement surgery. Aunt Georgia continues to delight me with Wonka Runts. She once bought me a five pound bag of them. It took 4 years to get through them and I was bringing them as potluck dishes.
Ari and Nate had a great little oyster roast where we got to spend time with the newest addition to their family, Ms. Magnolia. But everyone calls her Maggie.

I've been meeting with "industry professionals" to pick their brains and weasel out tips and tricks to help make ole
Lux n' U more profitable. I'm gearing up for the wedding onslaught and spent a whole day getting the shop ready.

Somewhere in there I hurt my back and have had to go talk to a different kind of industry professional who's teaching me all the ways to care for myself and stand properly and it makes me feel a smidge juvenile. "Stand like this. Turn your feet out, Laura." I went in for a stretching this morning and it's the closest I've ever been to feeling like a real athlete. There I was, a strange man smashing my leg up into a painful position. Yep, this must be what the pros feel like. 
One of my florist friends slipped a disc doing a little mundane job I do every wedding weekend. She had to have emergency surgery and find a team of un-trained college girls to do her weddings for several weeks. This is a frightening story. You know I'd rather wallow in my pain than seek medical help. Consider me spooked.

In bad news, Sweet Budds has a malignant lump on his side that's being removed next week for tests. I'm scared and sad... but nothing gets Buddy down.

Brett and I found an exciting secret spot on a dog walk last weekend with lots of trees and marsh-views and this great dock at the end. The girls romped and leapt and had so much fun that they slept away that entire afternoon. 

With the cool but warm weather we've had, all the camellias in town have busted loose and it's one of my favorite sights. There are lots of confused flowers already blooming and even though the sight delights me, it's too soon and I'm worried about the flow of flower things. I hate winter, but it's a necessary evil. I don't want to miss out on the daffodils because we didn't have enough chilly days.

My first wee wedding of the year was last weekend and it's kicked off my "Spring " season. Coming up in February, we've got a Seabrook celebration, a Dunes West dance party, and Mills House marriage. 

The Spring Collection

This afternoon Big Nanny U is having surgery on her torn meniscus. After the battle of marital stubbornness, Mom went for that MRI, found out her meniscus is torn, and then couldn’t get home fast enough to rub it in Dad’s face. She’s so happy about this injury she can’t stand it.

Dad has had little to say about it and is instead focusing his negativity towards her recovery time. Admittedly, she can be an ornery patient.

We’ve done some additional Hayden- Jenny celebrating. Susan and Clint had the Crew over for a celebratory supper where we taught Brett’s folks how to play Pig and the charms of that game were stunted for Susan by Erik’s ability to add numbers faster than everyone else at the table. I find it to be a helpful feature. I just roll the dice and wait for Erik to spit out a number, but eventually he saw through me and stopped doing my math for me.

  

Brett and I had some of our favorites, Ellie and Caroline, over for supper and when I pulled out my phone to take a picture, Ellie wordlessly posed like this to make our dinner party seem especially great. That’s a true friend.

I snapped this quick photo of Ellen’s new boyfriend while he seduced us with song at Family Dinner. Ellen’s expression is the best part of the whole picture. We all really like Lee. He's chatty and silly and polite. Ellen has been bringing him around to Sunday Dinner for the last several weeks and while were worried it's going to scare him off, I also imagine that he'd wholeheartedly jump into our wig collection. The Passing of The Afro ritual is looming in the near future.

Here’s one of my new nephews wearing a Lebanese flag in honor of Aunt Lu. (Actually some other Lebanese friend gave it to him, but I like to pretend he loves me.)

This past weekend, we held the inaugural dock day with the Terrible Trio. Buddy, Grace, and Pip lost all composure on this long awaited day of fun. They were obnoxious and mean and I wasn’t very proud of them by the time it was all over. Buddy’s boisterous howling was out of control. Grace utilized the lack of traction in water by choosing to try to drown Pippa anytime Pip left the security of dry land. Though Pippa is a faster swimmer, Grace’s resentment runs deep and she fully devoted herself to bullying. Pippa wasn’t having it. 

Brett and I ran interference and when we finally got home, those girls sacked out instantly. They barely budged all night. Even the lure of suppertime held no weight against their tired limbs and depleted sprits.

It makes my whole night when Pip’s mouth falls open while she’s sleeping.

I've completed my first three weddings of the Spring season, started booking for 2020, and opted to turn down a bride who signed off all of her emails with "Thanksa."

Brett has enrolled in some improv comedy classes (actually Erik enrolled him as a wedding gift) and he conned Jeff into joining him, so every Monday night The Eisenhauer boys have been slinging cheap shots and acting out their silliest imaginings. There's an improv show that all of the students perform in after the final class in April and Brett only feels unmitigated dread about it. He loves the classes but hates the thought of performing for a crowd. The final show is by invite only and Brett won't let me tell anyone when it is. I understand his feelings and also get nervous thinking about it. We're both going to be sweaty messes that day. 

Notes On The Self

Well let’s see. For now I’m going to glaze over that whole ”getting married” thing until I have the time to catch my thoughts and accompany them with pretty photos from the day.  The photographer has teased me with a few and suddenly I’ve become overly excited to look at photos of myself. The wait is killing me. 

In the midst of this year, the planning and prepping and routine of things, I’ve been thinking about one main thing and since the abrupt end of wedding mode, have been thinking about another thing that corresponds to a third thing that ties in with the first thing.

Number 1: Life does not feel the way it looks like it will feel when you watch other people do it. Standing in the midst of a beautiful sunset doesn’t mean that your life feels lovely, the way an onlooker assumes it does if you are currently possessing the inner-peace to stand and watch a sunset. Being surprised with a new car or special vacation is very exciting and in that moment it’s a thrill but shortly after, you carry on with your normal routine except in a new car or with the knowledge of a pending trip. Getting engaged didn’t make my life feel prettier. Buying my “dream” home didn’t mean I was given heaps of free time to sit and relish in the great house the way you think people who live in dream homes do.

Pictures and movies depict the good things in life in such a way that makes you think you’ll be different in the moment: more peaceful or graceful…just less of your normal, pimply, conscious self. I’ll be whisked to a place of weightlessness, gratitude, and never-ending joy. The reality is that you almost always feel like yourself no matter what happens to you and feeling like yourself is a lot different from how you think people feel when envy-worthy things happen to them.

So what I’m saying is, you’re going to be your same awkward, annoying, imperfect self no matter what happens to you in life. 

Post-wedding I realized that I haven’t been thinking outside of myself. I’ve been so focused and tied down by the things going on in my life that I lost sight of my dreamy brooding and haven’t had many thoughts that didn’t relate to my present or very near future. I haven’t thought about the year 2019 once this year. That’s saying a lot for a girl who dreams 3-5 years in advance. I haven’t thought about what I want to be doing in three years, what's going on over Bangladesh or New Zealand, where I want to live someday, what's the latest with endangered species, what sorts of things Brett and I will do over our lifetimes, the future of American politics (vaguely anyways), etc and I would normally have a gaggle of suggestions on hand. Since coming out of that bubble, I’ve looked to my non-planned future and realized that lots of people live in this kind of "bubble-of-self" and that their worlds must feel very small. I’ve just been reopened to what a grand, busy place the world outside of my life is. I didn’t like living like that.

I did have a big internal realization recently about sociable friendship things and this is my third thought that related to that first one about things feeling like other things. I think this is true for everyone but since I’m in charge of this blog I’ll make it about me. Ahem, through the years, my friendship groups have come and gone. Though I keep in touch with a few stragglers from each group of people I sat with through various life stages, time carried on and people move or start new adventures and scheduling phone-calls to catch up on lives we’re not living falls very low on one’s list of priorities. My SCAD friends were perfect for me while I was as SCAD but our real lives are very different and very far apart and I don’t think any of us really understand what makes the other’s life very meaty. I found my way to musical Julie and funny Omar and all those guys at the peak of my waywardness and they were the perfect group of sunny, lighthearted people for me to be around during a time of so much brooding. Ahh the Surfbar days. I didn’t imagine that I would adopt the lifestyle of my Surf Bar friends. I knew I would be too critical of myself if I became a beach bum, but I learned a lot from these place-holder friendships and I’m keenly thankful for just about every friend that smiled at me when I needed a smile. In many cases, befriending people who are different from you can offer the beset selection of qualities that you don't want to possess and that helps you become even more of a person that you do want to be. 

To get to my friendship revelation (that was all build up back there), for the first time I’m feeing a sense of real integration in regards to my friendships. I’ve always felt like a fly on the wall in my friend groups. Of course they like me, but even I wasn’t sure what I brought to the table besides snarky comments and occasionally a fruit pie during the right season. I knew I didn’t fully belong in a group of artists or musicians or surfers. They all had this common ground that brought them together. Where was the group of introverted homebodies with a fondness for memoirs and houseplants?

(They’re at home, hiding and updating their blogs.)

I feel right at home now with my Charleston friends. I’ve relaxed into a group of people that haven’t left town. They’ve consistently been happy to see me because I make them laugh – even if they’re laughing at me. Now that all my friends have paired off with great girlfriends and boyfriends and everyone has moved in and out together and started new ventures, well I feel like part of a team of people. We like each other simply for being kind and optimistic. I think our common ground is that we are healthy, reasonable people that are aging and trying new things and that sort of stuff is full of surprises. One of which is this: having couple-friends is a whole new friendship ballgame. Brett and I sharing dinner with another couple is a totally new kind of warm camaraderie that I’ve never felt before. I haven’t figured out why yet. I think it has something to do with diffusing the pressure to be liked or understood within that group. Even if that couple thinks I’m weird, I know Brett gets me and loves me and seeing him like me, makes that other couple more confident that I am in fact likeable. And Vise Versa. We hung out recently with a couple where I love her but am on the fence about him but Brett things he’s fine and the girl is obnoxious. We enjoy watching them interact with each other, listening to what they think is fun and interesting, and then later, we discuss why we’re a way better couple which only ends a good day on a great note. 

An Evening At Home

The poorly timed Union Home Renovation Project is in full swing. I say poorly timed because everyone is assuming that I'm making my folks fix up their house on account of my backyard wedding in the Fall. Every time I have a wedding vendor come over to scout out the place, I have to state for the record that my parents were doing this anyways. And even though I asked Dad to hold off until after the wedding, he ignored this request because he likes the thrill of the challenge to get it all done on time. Though I originally objected, I'm now a full fledged supporter of the work site as it all looks really wonderful and open and now I wish we had done this years ago.

Since there isn't anywhere to sit in the house, Mom and Dad ordered pizza for supper and carried it out to the end of the dock. This is the first we've been able to get out there since the last hurricane came through. It's still just as special as it was before. It just needs a little character.

But heres' the best little tidbit. Back in 2015 I wrote this post about Dad's plum tree. Go on, read it. Refresh yourself.
Because I noticed a little purple gem and told the Old Man he'd better come outside to look at something.