A Real Eye Opener

With this post you get photos of flowers because I have no shortage of them in my phone and they are pretty things you should be happy you can see. 

Two weeks ago, as I flew down Hwy 526 at 65 mph, I went blind in my right eye. Shortly before, I had seen this strange, crystal clear circle floating in the air over on the right side. I figured it was like any of those floating light bits you can see when you close your eyes or stare a blank wall. I figured it would go away quickly so I paid it no attention but as I drove, everything within the circle became blurry and then the circle expanded so that I could only see light and smeared colors over on the right side.

As one would, I began to panic. I tried to calm myself down, telling me that my sight would come back in just a second and as I moved into the right lane in preparation to slam on my breaks, barrel off the road into the ditch and call 911, I saw the crystal clear circle appear in my left eye, the eye I was relying on to keep me out of a car accident. When I saw the circle in my left eye I knew I had about ten minutes. I knew I would be totally blind. I immediately felt sick but I had no time to hurl because I needed to stop my car and call for help. 

I took the first exit I saw and drove until I saw buildings and signs of life. I wanted to turn right, stop my car, and call Dad but my eyes couldn't see Right very well and could only make out grassy patches vs non-grassy patches. I could see green blurs and cement colored blurs so I pulled up into the first cement blur, immediately noticed I was driving past a barbed wire fence and as I stopped my car, I realized I had conveniently parked at our local county prison. 

“No no. No!” I said to myself, “Not here!” and I put my car back in drive and tried to get out of the parking lot. My blurry vision mixed with my heart beating in my ears caused me much confusion and I turned my car all manner of directions, finding no way out and unable to tell whether the signs said “One Way”, “No Exit” or “Do Not Enter”. Cops were staring at me from the front doors and I knew my maniacal driving must look suspicious.

I broke out of the prison lot and went up one block to Bi-Lo, parked my car, and picked up my phone. I didn’t know whether to find where I was on a map before I called for help. I didn’t know where I was and in my panic, I figured Dad wouldn’t have any idea there was a Bi-Lo near the county detention center. My hands shook as I dialed Dad’s number. While I waited for Dad to pick up, I held my hand less than a foot from my face and I couldn’t see it. It was just gone.

“Hey Lulu! What’s going on?”

“Dad! I seem to have gone blind in one eye and the other can only see light blobs!” and I told him the whole story. Dad asked me where I was, confirmed that he knew there was a Bi-Lo by the Jailhouse and told me to calm the crap down. He told me go into the Bi-Lo bathroom and splash some water in my eyes, drink some water and take some deep breaths. “Call me when you’re done.”

I hopped out of my car knowing I looked faint and confused. I bugged my eyes in and out of my head and blinked incessantly in order to walk through the parking lot without tripping or walking into other cars. Now, if the presence of the prison didn’t give it away, I’ll tell you that I’m not in a great part of town right here. Here in the parking lot were several broken down cars, people pushing shopping carts that contained all of their belongings and to my horror, almost everyone I saw had donned socks with their sandals that morning.

I entered the Bi-Lo like a drug addict looking for a fix. Sweating and cold, with what I could even feel was a ghost white face, I asked a cashier where the bathroom was.

“Down aisle Ten, through the double doors, to the right.” she told me and I tried to thank her sincerely as though I was present with her and not wondering if I’d ever get to do a painting again. I shuffled down aisle Ten behind a really fat woman with long grey hair. She pushed through the double doors and hung a right. Seemed to me she was going to the bathroom so I followed her. I slipped through the double doors before they closed behind her and caught the bathroom door and gave it a push. The woman walked into a stall and as she closed the stall door, she turned towards me and my one good eye caught hers and that giant woman had a sizeable salt-and-pepper beard.

Oh crap! I thought. I’m in the Men’s room. How would I have known? I couldn’t see. That human had long hair. 

I walked towards the door and then stopped. I don’t care! I’m panicking! So I walked towards the sink and then I stopped again. All the toilet seats are up. What does that man think? 

I staggered out of the bathroom, deciding to go to the Woman’s room so I’d be more comfortable. Turns out that was the Woman’s room so I went back in there with The Creature hoping to get a good blurry look at it to see what it was but really I had no time to waste.

While I listened to It use the bathroom and I washed my hands, the blurs became sharp, light fell back into place, and I could see again. I felt only the faintest notion of relief because now I had the sharpest headache I’ve ever experienced and a pressure behind my left eye.

After a couple more calls to Dad, one major 'it’s all over. no need to fear' panic attack and then my mouth going numb in terror, I ditched work and went to my eye doctor who told me very casually that it’s an uncommon but not rare form of a migraine headache that causes temporary blindness. “Nothing major.” he said shrugging and scribbling on my chart. “No one really knows why people get them but you won’t be blind for much more than half an hour. Just take a break and relax when it happens. OK? So are you all set?”

“That’s it?” I asked him.

“Yep” he said and then I went home.

If you're interested they're called Opthalmic headaches and apparently they can make you puke which scares me more than being temporarily blind because I really don't want to break my Vomit-free streak. 

Mostly I'm disappointed with myself. While I do live in a kind of constant mini-panic, I can usually control my reactions and feelings and I just lost it on this one. I can always calm myself down and maintain composure until something is over but I just couldn't. This scared that crap out of me! But no, I never did cry. So there.

Anyways, it made me think about how great all of our five senses are and how great it is that I have hands and legs that work and that I'm healthy and capable. We shouldn't take these things for granted.