One Day As Will Hon

Shortly after returning from our big venture, Mom, Dad, and I made the trip to Goode, Virginia for an express HonUnion visit but without Will and Katie and also under the circumstances of “short notice” and “just for two days.” For that reason I will not give this post a “Honbons: And Other…” type title that you have gotten used to after a more lengthy HonUnion.

This HonUnion was different. There was less goofing around and more business on this visit. We all had things going on outside of the dream bubble you sink into so easily on the Hon Farm. We talked big changes, new plans, life questions, business meetings, and we chased a couple refrigerators around the house in such a way that we tore up four rooms in the process. But more on that later.

We arrived in the afternoon and hugged those Hons the special way that only they hug. They hug with purpose. We came barreling in with our groceries and suitcases and while we all filed into the kitchen, I noticed their wigs in the next room, sitting on the back of a chair, ready at moments notice. I smiled fondly at those wigs.

We ate dinner out that night and came home to eat sweets and slump and talk with each other. Laurie had prepared homemade ice-cream sandwiches that Don preferred to eat disassembled. We talked and laughed and my parents got sleepy before we’d even mentioned a round of Shanghai. As we prepared for bed and said our goodnights, Laurie said, “You’ll be in Will’s room tonight.” and I grabbed my little bag and headed up the stairs. I’ve always stayed in Tripp’s room on our Hon visits. Tripp’s room is a “shrine to Western Culture” while Will’s focuses more on “American Sports.” I like the cozy warm colors in Tripp’s room and the lamp on his bedside table. But the best part of Tripp’s room is the view. It’s in the back of the house and looks out at the hills and the barn and the big Virginia sky.

I wondered why Laurie had changed my quarters. I noticed Tripp’s door was closed. “What’s going on in there?” I wondered as I rounded the banister and walked down the hall to Will’s room. I pushed open his door and found this waiting for me.

I got ready for bed via the Wilhelmina lamp. I never turned any real lights on and just clicked that one off before bed. It wasn’t until morning, when I lifted the shades that I got a good look at Will’s room. I thought about all the different kinds of mornings Will woke up for in that room and what he barreled out into when he went downstairs for the day. I realized I was living a day as Will Hon. I was laying there all excited to go downstairs and talk with my parents (I mean, Don and Laurie). What would we do today? What would we eat? What sorts of undecipherable wisdom will Don bestow on me today?

So I will recount for you, our one full day in Goode through the eyes of Will Hon, played by Big Lu.

 * * *

I woke up early, lifted the shades and flopped back down into the pillows. I took a deep breath and stretched my toes out past the end of the bed. I rolled over and admired my football jersey hanging on the wall by the closet. “The good years.” (I imagine he would mutter.) And thought about the time that one guy really messed up our play and Coach got so mad he…

I heard Mom close her door and tiptoe down the stairs so I got up, put on a sweater, (That was me. I was cold.), and jumped down the stairs to say good morning. She smiled so brightly at me when I rounded the corner and she hugged me and asked me how I slept. “I’ve made some coffee,” she told me, “and there’s cold brew if you’d rather have that.” And then Mom scampered off to feed the dogs. I grabbed a special mug from the cabinet by the microwave. It’s a staunchly confederate mug that Tripp and I bought for Dad one year. The mug boasts about Robert E. Lee and about a month later I would think of this mug after hearing about the events that took place in Charlottesville. I took my unintentionally racist coffee onto the porch where I threw a tennis ball for Doc and then settled into a big chair to look at the view. It was chilly out and when Mom came out with her coffee she laughed, turned right around, and then reappeared with a blanket for me. Mom’s just lovely that way. (Will would need a blanket, right?) We weren’t there ten minutes before Mr. Chris came stomping out onto the porch in his pajamas, one eye still closed and his hair standing in every direction. We talked business and strategy and Mr. Chris laughed loudly at his own comments. Dad came out next, dressed and ready for the day before any of us. He and Mom sat on the swing chatting with Chris and tossing balls for Doc over and over again. Mrs. Nancy came out last, still in her pajamas but had put on “half her face.” She joined us on the porch and Mom ran to get her a blanket too. “You Sandlappers and your thin blood” my parents said to the Unions.

We had a big day ahead of us. Our refrigerator crapped out the day before the Unions arrived. We’d survived so far on non-perishables and whatever Mom could stuff in the basement cooler. We searched local retailers for the perfect fridge but we had height restrictions to abide by so it made the search tricky. After while, Dad and Chris headed out to go make a sale. Us girls (I mean, the women and I) stayed behind to get dressed and have a lazy morning. I went back up to my room to get my toothbrush. While I was in the bathroom I read the Recipe for Happiness and while I brushed my teeth I learned about The Life of the Fool Proper. I wondered how many times I’ve read these. Then I got dressed and I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Dude. Attack this day.” And I hopped back down the stairs for girl-talk.

I did my best to contribute to the conversation but I don’t have children or chronic aches just yet so at times I couldn’t relate. In my mind I thought about man-stuff, sports, politics, and firing guns. Later in the afternoon, the Dads came back with a brand new refrigerator. We shuffled furniture around and took pictures off the wall to make a pathway for the appliances. It’s been so long now that I don’t remember the order of things, but we got one of those fridges all the way around to the hallway when we realized it wouldn’t fit so we had to turn it around and go the other way. There was a path of destruction leading through the whole first floor of the house. Dad and Chris did most of the heavy lifting and shimming things into place but I contributed my tremendous strength when hoisting the old one into the trailer. Dad says Chris had all the weight.

Mom was delighted by her new refrigerator. She ohhed and ahhed while placing shelves where she thought they would go best. We all beamed at the new fridge and celebrated with a round of Shanghai. We ate dinner out that night and came back to more card games and Nancy and Chris asking Mom and Dad to squeeze out a few wisdom nuggets for that unmotivated daughter of theirs. (That’s me.) They weren’t sure they could manage a whole nugget a day. “Maybe between the two of us…” Mom said.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night. I knew it would all be over the next day and I felt like I still had stow-ries to hear and wisdom nuggets to translate. I brushed my teeth, read about that proper fool again, and climbed into bed to read.

* * *

The next morning I woke up as Big Lu again. I packed my little bag and gathered the books Laurie had left outside of my door last night for me to take home and read. In a very Non-Will-like fashion, I had developed a little cold from the chilly Virginia air. I sniffed and snotted my way through our “farewell breakfast” and reluctantly said goodbye to my favorite people. It was quiet in our car as we drove back to Charleston. We’re always sleepy from late nights playing cards and sluggish from a weekend consuming sugar. I was deep in thought about lots of things. Those Hons have that effect on you. I lazily felt around in my bag for a tissue and couldn’t find any. I must have gone through the whole pack. I thought to last time I had a tissue and I realized I had one in my hand when I fell asleep last night. It was not in my hand when I woke up.

Hey Hons, I think I left my tissue in Will’s bed.
I’m really sorry.