The Special Things

While I had a vaguely tropical twinge in mind for the Big Day, I didn't expect to create such jungleish flower arrangements and all I could think of when I looked at them was Jurassic Park, a real romantic blockbuster. The details of the day came together in stages and I was tickled watching Dad adorn tabletops with happy, delicate blooms. A few mini-disasters took place just before the ceremony. My ring went missing, a circuit blew, and the wedding cake split in half.

Don alerted me to my missing wedding ring with such understated concern that I chuckled and carried on with other things. Laurie once described a panicked Don as a duck on the water. It all looks placid but underneath the surface those little legs are furiously kicking. I thought of this ten minutes later when the ring was still missing and Mom had joined the search party. I was just moving into a panicked state of my own and was rather unfazed by the ordeal. They go on to find the ring nestled perfectly inside of Brett's. I think that's awfully cute.

No one told me about the blown circuit and the lights going out and the rental potty's AC turning off. I noticed Dad's friends on ladders toying with twinkle lights and Dad rooting around in the bushes but this also blew across my mind like a tumbleweed in the desert. I was starting to get nervous and retreat into myself because it was kind of toasty outside and I was worried I'd pass out even though I knew it wasn't hot enough. I was starting to think in worst-case embarrassing scenarios. Then I started to think about whether or not I'd had enough water. And food. And protein. Was I healthy enough to get married?

We went outside for family portraits and even though I'm smiling in the pictures, I was actually doing heat calculations and a food diary in my mind. I elected to go in for a snack post-portraits. That'll be just the ticket.

I sat in the sunroom and ate cheese. Will and Katie stood and watched me eat cheese and I was trying to pretend this was just a normal moment as a cheese enthusiast and not the desperate staving of a potential wedding day disaster. Luckily, Laurie is an all-knowing angel and she took a look at me and started scrambling around for a soda. "You need some sugar. That's what you need." I felt safe admitting to her that I felt a little puny and she went full Mom Mode and had a pick-me-up in my hands almost instantly. It did make me feel better but then she and Mom chastised the way I was swinging around my glass of coca-cola. "Don't you spill that on your dress!"
I spent a little more time outside mingling with guests and just as it was time to go to the end of the yard for the ceremony, beautiful Chelsea arrived with our wedding cake and she looked flustered and guilty. She said there was cake trouble. I brushed this off too. Beautiful Chelsea can be hard on herself. She brought me inside and slowly lifted the lid on her cake carrier. It was a beautifully frosted white cake, it's just that it was almost in two halves. I noticed the caterers were watching for my reaction. I chuckled and said, "That's ok! Let's just frost over the trench and cover it with flowers." Chelsea seemed dejected and pained. The caterers told me I was the most laidback bride they've ever seen. The reality was that I was much more concerned with my upcoming performance as "bride." Everyone was taking their seats and I knew I had to go out there.

I felt better when I saw Brett and Don standing in position, chatting nonchalantly. Though I had initially objected to walking down the aisle, bossy Ellen took her job as "keeper of the time" too seriously and my statement of "we'll all wander down together at 5:30." meant Ellen had everyone's butts in their seats at 5:25 and I was left no choice. Dad and I felt awkward and giggled together as we rushed down the aisle. 

It got terribly quiet after I took my place next to Don. I shuffled around a little, using Brett as a sun umbrella. Don waited. I stood still, I looked at Brett. It was quiet. I looked at Don and said, "hey" which felt just as stupid then as it sounds now. My nerves kicked in. Don started talking and I glanced at his note pad. His performance as "officiant" looked like it had a hefty script to it and I doubted I could stand under the gaze of so many for very long but the best part of having your second Dad officiate your wedding is that he makes you feel at ease and before I had time to panic, I became engrossed in Don's words and I forgot about the 84 pairs of eyes that were staring in our direction. Don said lovely things, unexpectedly funny things, and things that made Brett and me seem like an exceptional pair of people.  

From this time I remember Brett's smiling face and the pauses and emphasis Don put on certain words. I remember glancing at the crowd twice and both times wishing I hadn't looked. I remember seeing Aunt Georgia and a dear friend from Kindergarten. I remember throwing my bouquet on the grass with a smacking sound and telling myself to take in the scene because I was in my favorite place getting married and the marsh I've looked at so many times was now the illuminated background on a most notable day. I remember wishing I could see the scene from the back of the crowd. Also, I remember saying my vows which was my main concern. Oh, and there were bugs. I remember whirling bugs.

We've received heaps of compliments on all of these special things. The flowers, the yard, the cake. People kept asking who made the "gorgeous" cake and it tickled me each time to think of Chelsea's forlorn face knowing how beautifully she fixed it. I'm not sure she's ever going to forgive herself because she's just that kind of devout friend. Everyone asked who Don was. What does he do? Is he a preacher? What church does he lead? He did such a warm and engaging ceremony. I was sure proud of him and his beautiful words.

Photos: Taylor Rae Photography

Getting Ready

I will now begin a painfully drawn out series of wedding reports accompanied by photos... of myself.
Actually, I'm going to try to mush it into three posts.
All this wedding talk will die down so soon and it'll be like it never happened and we'll forget the tiny details that made that day feel so warm and full. That was an awfully happy day. I didn't expect it to feel so good and be so fun. After all this time and all these weddings, I had to assume the hubbub was just hype perpetuated by girls with few other things to be excited about. That's not cynicism, it's intolerance. I've been "over" weddings for a while now and figured we'd walk away from our wedding and say, "Well that was nice." they way you do when you've been to a pleasant event.

We feel lucky that we get to claim that party. We feel lucky that we're the ones in the photos. I'd like to go back and do it again, like one more ride at a theme park. "Come on, just one more time!"

The days leading up to the wedding were full and busy. Brett was working overtime to finish a project at work and I was spending a lot of time working out how to best spend my time so that I wouldn't be too busy in the days leading up to the wedding. There were lots of question filled phone calls, schedules to make, and decoration logistics to work out. Only once during that week did I wish I had hired a planner to take over. Brett and I both felt happy and peaceful about things and mostly just felt like we were going to a party that weekend. Friday night before the wedding, the Unions and Eisenhauer's went out for a big Greek supper together where the nine of us ate and laughed and rotated seating arrangements so we could talk to each other. After supper Brett and I met our friends on a humid rooftop and I was having an internal Mom sensation the whole time, like it was a rooftop full of my most cherished babies and I wanted to love on and hug and chat with all of them but it was an especially difficult job. It was tough to get past pleasantries when being pulled in and out of conversations so quickly. I didn't want any lone friends to climb to the top of the stairs and stand awkwardly so I'd dart away from one friend to greet another and then try to figure out who they'd most enjoy talking to. It was exhausting.

A few days prior to the wedding my Honbons arrived and having them home with us felt just right. They're so encouraging and silly. Laurie sat in the grass with me and worked on my hula hoop chandeliers and offered wisdom nuggets while Don busied himself in Dad's workshop, peeking his head out on occasion looking like he was up to something. The morning of the wedding, they came over to see my house and they brought with them gifts, enthusiasm, warmth, and belly laughs. I was feeling like I had too much on my plate and Laurie’s reactions to things made my morning. She loved the house. Loved the trees. Loved the way Pippa’s tail wags up and down. She was so excited and optimistic. 

Now over to the job site. While fixing up our hair and faces, Mom, Ellen, and I (and the Hons and my aunts and uncles) would run in and out of the house setting up tables and candles and assorted decorations. I might have been the sweatiest bride I've ever seen. Up in Mom's room we said a big wedding day prayer, gobbled up some lunch, and then had to act like ladies once Taylor arrived to take pictures. Unlike most Mothers of the Bride, Mom did not want to be in any photos and objected to being photographed in her big, bright yellow t-shirt. Luckily Ellen and Laurie were there to take Mom's place and offer a more customary reaction to things.

Meanwhile, downstairs was filling up. A sweet notion of the day was how all of our friends and family thought they were exceptions to the rules. "I know everyone else is coming at 5:00 but we want to come a little early." The house started to fill with people around 3:30 and I reckon it means we had just our dearest folks there and that we've managed to make them feel like exceptions. Even though having a lot of people around creating hubbub wound up making me a little anxious, I thought it was sweet that so many people feel like family.

Before things got too wild and busy, Brett and I wanted to spend a little chunk of time together. When talking about weddings, everyone tells you how fast it goes by and how many things you won't notice or remember. That sounds like a giant waste of all that went into throwing the dern party so we wanted to make sure we had some time to really be present with each other. We snuck off into the backyard to wheeze and tell each other important things and I'm glad we did this. Hanging with EisenEars beforehand kept me calm and allowed it to feel like we were walking into the day together instead of being kept apart and feeling like something was looming. I don't like things that loom.

We took some family photos, did our happy dances, and headed back towards the house to greet our friends. 

From here time would move at light speed.

Photos : Taylor Rae Photography

Notes On The Self

Well let’s see. For now I’m going to glaze over that whole ”getting married” thing until I have the time to catch my thoughts and accompany them with pretty photos from the day.  The photographer has teased me with a few and suddenly I’ve become overly excited to look at photos of myself. The wait is killing me. 

In the midst of this year, the planning and prepping and routine of things, I’ve been thinking about one main thing and since the abrupt end of wedding mode, have been thinking about another thing that corresponds to a third thing that ties in with the first thing.

Number 1: Life does not feel the way it looks like it will feel when you watch other people do it. Standing in the midst of a beautiful sunset doesn’t mean that your life feels lovely, the way an onlooker assumes it does if you are currently possessing the inner-peace to stand and watch a sunset. Being surprised with a new car or special vacation is very exciting and in that moment it’s a thrill but shortly after, you carry on with your normal routine except in a new car or with the knowledge of a pending trip. Getting engaged didn’t make my life feel prettier. Buying my “dream” home didn’t mean I was given heaps of free time to sit and relish in the great house the way you think people who live in dream homes do.

Pictures and movies depict the good things in life in such a way that makes you think you’ll be different in the moment: more peaceful or graceful…just less of your normal, pimply, conscious self. I’ll be whisked to a place of weightlessness, gratitude, and never-ending joy. The reality is that you almost always feel like yourself no matter what happens to you and feeling like yourself is a lot different from how you think people feel when envy-worthy things happen to them.

So what I’m saying is, you’re going to be your same awkward, annoying, imperfect self no matter what happens to you in life. 

Post-wedding I realized that I haven’t been thinking outside of myself. I’ve been so focused and tied down by the things going on in my life that I lost sight of my dreamy brooding and haven’t had many thoughts that didn’t relate to my present or very near future. I haven’t thought about the year 2019 once this year. That’s saying a lot for a girl who dreams 3-5 years in advance. I haven’t thought about what I want to be doing in three years, what's going on over Bangladesh or New Zealand, where I want to live someday, what's the latest with endangered species, what sorts of things Brett and I will do over our lifetimes, the future of American politics (vaguely anyways), etc and I would normally have a gaggle of suggestions on hand. Since coming out of that bubble, I’ve looked to my non-planned future and realized that lots of people live in this kind of "bubble-of-self" and that their worlds must feel very small. I’ve just been reopened to what a grand, busy place the world outside of my life is. I didn’t like living like that.

I did have a big internal realization recently about sociable friendship things and this is my third thought that related to that first one about things feeling like other things. I think this is true for everyone but since I’m in charge of this blog I’ll make it about me. Ahem, through the years, my friendship groups have come and gone. Though I keep in touch with a few stragglers from each group of people I sat with through various life stages, time carried on and people move or start new adventures and scheduling phone-calls to catch up on lives we’re not living falls very low on one’s list of priorities. My SCAD friends were perfect for me while I was as SCAD but our real lives are very different and very far apart and I don’t think any of us really understand what makes the other’s life very meaty. I found my way to musical Julie and funny Omar and all those guys at the peak of my waywardness and they were the perfect group of sunny, lighthearted people for me to be around during a time of so much brooding. Ahh the Surfbar days. I didn’t imagine that I would adopt the lifestyle of my Surf Bar friends. I knew I would be too critical of myself if I became a beach bum, but I learned a lot from these place-holder friendships and I’m keenly thankful for just about every friend that smiled at me when I needed a smile. In many cases, befriending people who are different from you can offer the beset selection of qualities that you don't want to possess and that helps you become even more of a person that you do want to be. 

To get to my friendship revelation (that was all build up back there), for the first time I’m feeing a sense of real integration in regards to my friendships. I’ve always felt like a fly on the wall in my friend groups. Of course they like me, but even I wasn’t sure what I brought to the table besides snarky comments and occasionally a fruit pie during the right season. I knew I didn’t fully belong in a group of artists or musicians or surfers. They all had this common ground that brought them together. Where was the group of introverted homebodies with a fondness for memoirs and houseplants?

(They’re at home, hiding and updating their blogs.)

I feel right at home now with my Charleston friends. I’ve relaxed into a group of people that haven’t left town. They’ve consistently been happy to see me because I make them laugh – even if they’re laughing at me. Now that all my friends have paired off with great girlfriends and boyfriends and everyone has moved in and out together and started new ventures, well I feel like part of a team of people. We like each other simply for being kind and optimistic. I think our common ground is that we are healthy, reasonable people that are aging and trying new things and that sort of stuff is full of surprises. One of which is this: having couple-friends is a whole new friendship ballgame. Brett and I sharing dinner with another couple is a totally new kind of warm camaraderie that I’ve never felt before. I haven’t figured out why yet. I think it has something to do with diffusing the pressure to be liked or understood within that group. Even if that couple thinks I’m weird, I know Brett gets me and loves me and seeing him like me, makes that other couple more confident that I am in fact likeable. And Vise Versa. We hung out recently with a couple where I love her but am on the fence about him but Brett things he’s fine and the girl is obnoxious. We enjoy watching them interact with each other, listening to what they think is fun and interesting, and then later, we discuss why we’re a way better couple which only ends a good day on a great note. 

Bachelorette and Thoughts From Ellen

As the wedding day inches closer, the feelings of "I can't wait!" are getting even more intense. I've not looked forward to something with this amount of gusto before. I'll even admit that no trip I've ever gone on has had this much pull or excited anticipation. It's nice to finally know what it feels like to want something so badly that you think you might pop. I was starting to think I was dead inside.

In honor of the Big Day, Ellen has written her first Guest Post for Awe Geez. Ellen's excitement for my wedding is also something of a new experience. Ellen has loved Brett since they first met so I think she's been waiting a long time to celebrate this day. I'll supplement her thoughts with photos from my surprise Bachelorette day. My sweet friends know me so well. They set up such a gentle, happy day to celebrate me - no wild night clubs and binge drinking. We got together for afternoon tea where my friends from different areas of my life sat together and learned about each other and laughed so effortlessly. It was a trip seeing that collection of faces enjoying time together. Ellen got tired of me saying so. From Ari's tea party, we went to Jenny's house where she and Chelsea lit lots of sparkly candles and added touches of greenery to decorate the living room. (It really is those little efforts.) Chelsea even made "Laura and Brett" cookies that I'll never get over. Each of my sweet friends then gave me a gift inspired by some kind of Laura memory and hearing their stories of what comes to mind when they think of me mostly made me crack up laughing while a few made me arch my mouth into a frown to express the sweetness of it. We left Jenny's for a little bar where we shared a bottle of champagne and too much cheese and salted meats. There was a bit of rowdiness when the owner brought us a strange decanter to drink out of and shortly after, Ellen led us to a dance club where my friends politely bobbed in place before suggesting we go somewhere else. They know me so well.

Without further ado, a guest post by Ellen Union:

Well folks… the time has finally come. Two Things: 1. Big sister is finally getting her voice to shine on Sister’s blog. Hard to think it has been about 8 years with this puppy, and I have yet to contribute. HA! (cue the eye roll- we all know I am the sarcastic one that doesn’t normally participate in family related functions… but here’s the thing. I am getting MUCH better at it. Old age and the notion of responsibility has FINALLY kicked in).

The 2nd big thing: MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEK!!!

Uhh y'all the excitement, the anticipation, the nervousness! I can hardly contain myself. It is taking forever for this week to end. Thankfully, I have taken off Friday in anticipation of Mom either having a meltdown or finding myself galavanting off on some wedding-related errand activity. If all else fails and I am not needed, I shall be at the beach, soaking up the last days of summer (in October...thank you Charleston).

Now, you may ask- How is the bride holding up? Laura has never been more calm. She is already the laid back ninja of the family. In fact, the only thing she is stressing about is the “timeline” of events that is taking place on Saturday. Who is going where? What time are people coming? Will we have time for pictures? Am I going to have the immediate or extended family in all the pictures? We, as a family, love to not pay attention to these details. Laura has only been talking about this for months.. Yet we all found ourselves at the dinner table asking the SAME questions..over and over...and over… to the point where Laura started to get put out with us :) Bleh...bleh...bleh… Have no fear Issy, Belly is here! We all know how much I love to whip people in shape and boss them around. This may be more thrilling for me than the actual wedding day festivities. I will have that floor shinin’ like the top of da Chrysler Building. Just you wait.

Bretty (the groom and/or victim) is also holding up nicely. He is also a laid back chap and I think at this point he just wants to get to the party… that’s all I want as well Bretty. Especially after my daunting speech. Oh Lord.. now that one folks… has kept me up for the past 3 nights. I have changed my speech over 100 times. Some versions are funny. Some versions are sappy. Some are just plain stupid and make no sense.  I have woken up in the middle of the night in sweat multiple times. You see… I want to make this special for these 2 plugs. If I could have it my way, I would bring my sister to tears, but we all know how she hates emotions. She would rather stab herself with a dull dinner fork than show any sort of emotion in public. HA! I am pretty sure I could make Brett cry easier than I can make Laura.

Now onward to the family and the fun part of this weekend. There are so many people flying in from all over the States. We have people from VA, CO, CA, NY, TN, and NC just to name a few. It is so exciting to see all these people flying in from all over to support these two love birds. I am especially excited to see Jared, whom I haven’t seen in a few years. For those that have been following this blog, Jared with went with us to Europe back in 2012 and has been a great travel companion for Lu through the years. Overall, I am so excited to spend time with family and friends this weekend in celebration of Brett and Laura. I never really get that excited about weddings, but this one I have been especially.  We are having a huge party in the backyard. We have a funk band coming, stringy lights. Great food and my personal favorite- WEDDING CAKE!

Dad hopes he makes Joanne mad and she calls the cops on us. “I am just waiting on her to bring the cops over.” he says with such delight! Dad actually wants to “pay off” the cops just to say he did it! Side Note: JoAnne… is our unfriendly neighbor who lives a few doors down. She delights in terrorizing people. She has had the nerve to make a few phone calls just to get us in trouble only to then stare my Dad in the face, and ask for help with something. Now, Dad is a good man (and put up with her for way longer than I would have), but after the last time, he said “Crap on that. I am done with her.” So now, he relishes in the fact that if she even steps foot on this property, there will be some fun words being slung… Gosh I hope I am witness to this sight. I've been saying for years that I want to light a bag of poop on fire and leave it on her front porch…. I haven’t been granted that opportunity...YET. There’s still time though.

Now, technically we don’t need a “party permit” with Charleston County as this is less than 100 people. However, something tells me, we probably should have gotten one. Dad said he has all his “loop holes” covered. He has contacted the City of Charleston, James Island Mayor. Heck he probably called SCEG. He has everyone in the loop for this party. He is even getting excited about all the extension cords and various houses that will be funding electricity to this grand fiasco.

Back to the point. I can attest that these two truly are perfect for each other. Brett is such a welcome addition to the family and I couldn’t be happier for my baby sister. These two have gone through some stuff together, but have always managed to come out on top. Brett has a way of understanding Laura in a way that most people don’t. He makes her giggle uncontrollably, he makes her feel safe, and he makes her feel valued and respected. He, in my opinion, is a wonderful match for her and I couldn’t be more thrilled about this union (haha get it?)

So as I close out this blog, please say a prayer for my mother ( who is probably stressing out just reading this). Pray for good weather (ain’t nobody need to be dancing in the rain- my dress is long and I am too short for that). Pray for love and calm nerves for the bride and groom (we don’t need no troubles- we better be havin’ this party. I been waiting too long for this day). Pray for safe travels for all who are coming here (remember- Uber is just an app click away!).  And lastly..Pray that big sissy doesn’t completely lose it during the ceremony and ugly cry (since I am the emotional one of the family and can’t be held responsible for my actions).

CONGRATS TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM!!!!!!!!!