Enough About Them

Let's focus back on me again. Remember how I said the dogs have gone back to acting like normal, lovable critters? Well scratch that. We've had about four more fights, one more set of stitches and both girls are currently on antibiotics for the collection of puncture wounds they now sport, sprayed maniacally across their legs the way a little girl might bedazzle her favorite tights.

Brett and I are at the end of our violence ropes. Because Grace initiates the fights, I've been extra angry with her and bit more doting on Pippa and I think Grace can tell. After a handful of fights I became a little scared to be left home with them. Not because I was worried they would bite me but because I wouldn't be able to break them up on my own. So I've been watching them like an ecological researcher, distracting them from any imagined tensions or luring one away from the other when I foresee too much oncoming excitement. And you know what I found out? Pippa is the worst! Yes, Grace starts the brawls BUT Pippa dances around in her face all day long. She licks Grace's face, steps on her feet, follows her around... if Grace gets up, Pippa gets up. Pippa races her from room to room anticipating where Grace is heading and then beats her to that water bowl or that spot on the couch. It's completely infuriating. Pippa is the annoying little sister I never was! Right Ellen?

I now spend a large percentage of my day stopping Pippa mid-action. I won't let her lick Grace's face and I trap her back legs when she's trying to beat Grace to her favorite spot under the mirror in our bedroom. "Run Gracie run!" I scream. Maybe I've gone nuts, but I think Grace can tell that I'm playing defense for her and she wags her tail a little harder at me now. This is good timing because Brett and I have not been on the same page about who the culprit is. We've been having all kinds of "your dog" discussions and I would not budge that Pippa was being bullied. Once I accepted that I had been blinded by love, Brett admitted that Grace's maulings are a harsh over-reaction. Pip is annoying but she doesn't try to hurt Grace. Grace is a drama queen. So we've been keeping them mostly separate and when they are together, we will allow no excitement at all. The four of us are walking on eggshells at home and I don't like feeling awkward in my little safe space.

Our Vet, who not once has made us feel like incompetent dog parents, gave us the name of an animal behaviorist who may be able to decipher the origins of our pup tension. I know what you're thinking but we just can't get rid of one. We love them too much. And more importantly, Brett and I would resent the other if our dog was the one that got sent to a shelter. Unless they do something appalling, we can't justify that kind of betrayal. These are our obnoxious children! So now we're waiting around to give our nest egg to someone who will come over to judge us, and then make us buy little doggy jail cells and treat our pups like inmates in their own home. They're going to hate us.