Awe Geez: Since He's Been Gone

Life without my Jolly Lean Giant has been a rediscovery of my true self. The night he left I consumed an entire bag of gummy worms while binge watching Queer Eye. The night he left! I didn't even wait a few days to pretend I have learned anything over these last eight years bettering myself alongside a partner of such good intentions. Ooh I reverted back to college Lue immediately.

Long before he stepped onto his first flight of the African adventure I knew I was not going to allow myself to be... myself. I suppose that initial decline that first night was prompted by knowing I had big shoes to fill in the subsequent weeks of singledom. So I gave myself one night.

I made big plans; plans I won't reveal now on the off-chance Brett checks this blog during his next layover. (He's on his way home right now!) I want to surprise him. I have worked and slaved and toiled each and every day since he's been gone and I'm delighted to have discovered the depths of my productivity abilities. Turns out I really like working on projects that I came up with myself. I worked tirelessly into the nights, pushing off bedtime to achieve just a bit more.

Who is this person? Upon my morning reflection times I've wondered about this burst of work ethic and why it's not around when Brett is. My first thought is that I choose to be lazy when Brett is here in the hopes that he will jump on the chores I don't want to do. He does the same thing, mind you. We love and hate the opposite house chores so it usually works out well. My second thought is that I more frequently do nothing when Brett is around so that I'll be available for any of his spontaneous whims. While that sounds like the standard of a repressed housewife, I assure you it's based off of enthusiastic giddiness about hanging out with The Big Guy. I can't start a big project on Saturday morning because Brett might be free for a few hours in the afternoon. I don't want to miss that! I discussed this theory with Mom as well as with Jessie, and both of them have the exact same patterns take place when their fellas leave town. "I get so much done when Chris isn't here," Big Mama said.
"I feel kind of rude making my own plans without seeing what Alex is up to first. I don't want to miss out on him," Jessie said. I'm amused to find that this is a thing and I can now blame Brett and his existence anytime something doesn't get done in a timely manner. "But you were here!" I also noticed that I futzed around on my phone less. Turns out I only really scroll through instagram when I'm waiting on Brett to finish a workout or come home from errands, or some task that has about 10 minutes left, so don't go starting any big undertakings. Turns out I spend a lot of time waiting on Brett, happily.

Since he's been gone, my friends have kept me entertained with Easter brunch, afternoon picnics, boat rides, and a great family dinner where we all noticed that our "napkins" were actually the hot-glued drapes Mom had decided she was done with. She cut them into little strips, placed them at the table setting, and then was shocked when we all found it so ridiculous. "Well I like that pattern. I thought we'd get one more use out of them."