What I've Been Doing

I’ve been working on lots of side projects. Additionally, I’ve embarked on a self-instated coffee shop tour of Charleston and discovered a place that serves Mexican Hot Chocolate which is hot chocolate with a touch of cayenne pepper and boy is it tasty! I’ve been spending too much money on Christmas presents (and coffee) and have taken up drinking hot tea as often as possible. I bought this box of wacky flavored teas (hibiscus, coconut masala, Lapacho apple, etc) and have become so obsessed that I look forward to coming home and boiling water.

I have been exercising in a minuscule fashion via light jogging and doggy dates. I ran my first marathonish thing and Buddy drags me around faster than I care to run and then I get side cramps and then I get angry and then Buddy gets yelled at. Neither of us really come out on top when we exercise together.

More importantly I have finally started climbing like I’ve been saying I would do for two years now. I loved heights and climbing trees as a little one and I’ve been wanting to go to a climbing gym for ages to see if I’m still as limber and strong as I once was. I sure am not but I like the challenge. It’s exhausting and a little scary and so many things about it are unexpected once your feet leave the ground. So much of it relies on your grip which seems obvious but several times I’ve had to stop not because I was too high or it was too hard a path but because my hands just can’t hold on any more. Wearing a harness does not make me feel anymore safe or daring. Watching from the ground, you see people get to tough spots and you think “Oh just lunge for it. You wont fall.” but when you’re up there dangling by your index finger, lunging seems very foolish and your body simply won’t let you try. It’s a mind sport a little. You have to outwit your sensibilities and climb higher and higher even though your brain says, “Why are you doing this? It’s dangerous and there’s nothing at the top of the wall.” 

The first time I climbed I went just twenty-five feet up and was alarmed by how quickly my forearms had become tired and I looked up at the rest of the wall and thought “My arms will never make it.”

I hung there a while, wanting to go further but knowing I couldn’t and I realized I’ve never been there before. I’ve never really been challenged before. That was a big moment which set forth lots of big thinking.

I went back to work for Boone Hall for a day. Last Sunday was their annual Wine Under The Oaks Festival and I stood behind a wooden table selling gift baskets and giving out samples of various fruit jellies. My thrill is not in the jars of jam or decorative baskets but rather, it was seeing my sweet Boone Hall family. I love them all so much. I don’t know why I don’t go visit more. I stole these photos from Carlos’ Facebook page and boy do they make me smile.

Last week at work I attended a meeting regarding 401K options. I giggled several times during the meeting because it all felt so adulty and I my inner consciousness was speaking like a valley girl. “Like, what do you mean it’s like, portable?” 

I sneered at the information booklets filled with charts, both pie and regular, and poured myself some water from the glass pitcher in the center of the table as though the tough thinking about finances had made me thirsty. My amusement at attending a business meeting ended abruptly when they said I’d be retiring somewhere near 2060. Pardon? Let me type it out for you. Two thousand and sixty. I will be eighty five. I was sort of hoping to the kick the bucket a little closer to seventy. Am I going to work my whole life and then just die? How is everybody so calm about this? That’s a lot of crappin’ years to be mentally numb and sleepy and I really hate getting up in the morning. After that statement they lost me completely and I only imagined standing in the flower shop for forty-five more years and I almost quit my job right then.

In regards to my job that I should not quit because I have to work and it’s a swanky place to be while I wait forty five years to die, they have this program where they let all employees stay at the hotel for a night after they have completed all training courses and evaluations. With this comes a free dinner in The Grill and breakfast the next morning. The Monday after Thanksgiving was my day and Mom and I checked in to the hotel about 5 o’clock. The bellboys who tease and harass me everyday laid it on thick with my sweet mama and then we dashed up to our room to get ready for our big meal. My fellow associates greeted me as though I don’t work there and sat us at a table for two underneath the Christmas wreaths I had hung just three days earlier. I was delighted to receive a beautiful flower arrangement shortly after arriving. They put it down on our table and I read the card. It was from the two women I work with, wishing me a happy Guest for a Night. 

“That’s sweet of them.” I said to Mom, admiring the colors on the petals. And then I realized suddenly that I had made that very arrangement just before Thanksgiving and put it in our cooler in case we got busy and needed something on the fly. Mom thought this was hilarious however I felt slightly cheated. Nevertheless we had an outstanding dinner, were catered to like celebrities, and waddled out of there like penguins.

I took mom on a quick tour of the hotel, to areas that ‘civilians’ don’t get to visit and by 8:30 she was in bed reading magazines and just as happy as a clam. I spent the rest of my night in the lobby with my bellboy and front desk friends because I just couldn’t go to bed that early. Mom and I were still full when we woke up the next morning but we dutifully sat in the Café and were served coffee and the largest platter of fruit you could imagine. We could hardly eat our breakfast but all of my work friends came by and met Mom and seemed so excited for us that we hardly noticed that it was time for Mom to get going and me to go clock in. 

“You have to work today?” everyone said with outrage. Normally folks get the next day off so they can sleep in and enjoy the pool and/or spa but because there are only three people in the floral department, workers just can’t be spared sometimes. It was a great little thing to get to do but I hated being served by fellow workers. It just didn’t feel right somehow but Mom really charmed everybody and they didn’t seem to mind.

So you see, Christmas prep, friend visits, and mulling over my next fifty years is keeping me busy. You know how I like mulling. Though suddenly it all feels more urgent than it used to.  I fall off of Dad’s health insurance plan in June so I have to get my own. I’ve got to come up with something quick!