In February, I told you that Mom started an exercise regime and that Brett and Dad built a deck on the back of the house. Now you may recall that Mom promptly tore her ACL on day three of her exercise plan and was laid up for weeks, recovering and gloating. I'm proud to tell you that both knees are doing great and she has no plans to exercise in the near future.
The back deck is still just the greatest thing ever, although I haven't been starting my days out there since the summer morning temperatures went south for winter. While the deck was completed in February, we had to let the wood dry out for 6 months before we could paint it. So it has not been painted or sanded and Brett thinks it may need a pressure washing. We did purchase the paint and stain needed for the project back in July when Sherwin Williams had a Summer Blowout sale. I almost attempted to get started on this but I took a nap instead.
At the same time as the big deck installation Brett wanted to put lights on our gate so we can find our house at night. As of two weeks ago, this project is officially complete. Want to know why it took 10 months? Because when Brett went to run the electrical lines on the back of the gate posts, he discovered that the wood was rotten inside. So those had to be replaced: dug out the old ones, buried the new ones, cemented around them for stability, probably a few other extra precautions and steps because Brett is very thorough, and then sanded so that the gates would hang right. That took a month or two. Then he had to dig and bury those electrical lines, run them to the house, find an outlet to hook them to, found out it wasn't grounded, yada yada yada. He got those a-blazin' just recently and we crappin' love them!
My other February follow up is that both houses in our backyard have sold and we now feel very exposed and have to keep waving at people back there because it seems rude to pretend we're having any privacy. Also, delivery trucks drive back there and get jammed up and have to spin around and it makes Pippa and Grace bark way too much. I hate it. We've yet to meet the newest neighbor but Brett kicked a ball into his yard and had to have the guy throw it back and Brett said it made him feel "juvenile."
March began our subscription to the New Yorker which was fun only momentarily and then became a high-stress game of musical chairs. A weekly magazine is too much. Brett quit reading them first but maintained that he was going to get around to reading them. I frantically read issues mostly cover to cover. I realized it felt an awful lot like the assigned summer reading they'd give you in school so I started to read only articles I was interested in and this cut my turnover rate in half. I offered the latest issue to Brett anytime he was floundering around for something to do, but they never enticed him and I suggested we cancel our subscription. "You're not reading them and I'm only reading them to outweigh the costs."
"It's a dollar an issue." he replied.
"That's 52 bucks a year, Bubba!" his tightwad wife retorted. Brett was being stubborn about the magazine so I read and read. I skimmed. I skipped. And then I started taking them from the mailbox straight on into the stack. By July I was at wits end. We no longer have a subscription to the New Yorker.
In April we found that propane tank in our yard and have yet to come back to that project. To refresh your memory, we were digging up an old flower bed to get some level land and grass. It's looked like this since May...
Still don't know why Brett put a pallet over it.
... which is around the time Brett completed the town's largest compost bin. We're not sure were doing it right.
This is "the bin" before he put the front on it. He made a neat little system where you can slide planks in place depending on how high you want the front to be. I can't take an updated picture because it was also around this time that Brett's parents moved into a house down the street from us and now their boat lives in our yard directly in front of Bin. Someday, I'll thrill you with a photo.
Just two days before my birthday, Ellen found out about Olivia and I had to hold in that secret for ages! She has since grown a big round belly. Brett tried to sympathize.
While Ellen and Lee were in Europe, I broke into their house and painted a tiny mural and turned their guest room into Olivia's nursery.
In July I mentioned a burst of Instagram success. It has since plateaued and I've gone back to mentally laboring over it while also participating in it less and less.
In August I stopped drinking coffee and I feel notably better. Who knew you weren't supposed to feel queasy and frightened all day everyday?
The pups got into their first violent fight in August. In September we took them to a dog trainer for a consultation. We were quoted $5500.00 to have them properly trained so that "fighting would be a back burner concept to them" and I nearly choked on my good manners. I would like to add that during this consultation a cockroach danced around above the dog trainer and occasionally fell from the wall it was climbing and scrambled towards us. Grace and Pip and I could not take our eyes off of the roach while Brett became increasingly frustrated that the three of us had lost focus entirely and were misbehaving. I flinched once when the roach fell and it startled the dog trainer. He causally glanced at the roach and then continued speaking. Pippa squirmed in my arms trying to catch it while Grace drooled with delight. For 30 minutes this roach tormented us and the guy never once thought to remove it from the situation. Later, I watched it crawl up his pant leg and finally it settled in his flip-flop, just under his bare, bouncing heel.
We did not choose to move forward and instead elected to consult with a few more behaviorists but we've never done that. Instead, we've been intervening in the majority of Grace and Pippa's interaction time and we don't let anything get too exciting. They have yet to fight since we laid down the law. I'll keep you posted.
Pippa continues to delight me.
In October, after much laborious studying, Brett took his licensing exam and last week we found out that he did not pass. My confidence in The Big Guy kept me from ever considering that he wouldn't pass, so it also never occurred to me to keep the number of people I inform about Brett's big test to a minimum, for the sake of his pride, I mean. Brett's such a great fella, he got that bad news, allowed himself a moment of disappointment and then set his plans to try again in the Spring. Despite his good attitude, he'd probably prefer I not publish his "failure" but I just can't let that happen. Pretending not to be human never helped anyone. The head engineer in Brett's office didn't pass the first time. These tests are designed to trip you up. He'll take it again. And I'm overconfident he'll pass. Because he can do anything. ("except pass the P.E.!" - Brett)
Lastly, and most importantly, Google no longer thinks I'm fat.
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