Instead of celebrating Thanksgiving like normal Americans, the Union/Barton/Eisenhauer clan ventured to the tundra to gamble and experience weather for the first time. As a tightwad and unacknowledged bystander, I'm not sure how this trip came to be. I was simply informed one day that I needed to book flights for two adults to Buffalo, New York for the morning of November 28th so I did because you never outgrow blind obedience to your parents. Right?
Prior to leaving, I heckled each of my friends that own true winter-wear. I booked Ari's green "Omaha" coat months in advance. (Did you know Nate is from Omaha? Ari had to buy a real coat for family visits.) Sweet Jessie from Cooperstown, New York leant me gloves so pouffy and thick that you really can't hold on to anything. I laughed at such ridiculous gloves but she assured me it's not funny and tried to give me socks and a hat. I told her I had these things but she seemed concerned for me. I also bought real boots for "light rain and snow" as that was our projected forecast and I don't own any shoes that haven't acquired ventilation holes overtime. While the boots are bulky and dramatic, I had toasty feet the whole trip which was my only requirement for spending T-gives in the tundra. I don't do cold feet. Mom and Ellen borrowed boots from Georgia's Idaho Collection and Brett purchased long-johns for his long legs. Our collective fear of the cold fueled the adrenaline it took to run out of the Buffalo airport and over to the taxi stand where we threw ourselves into a minivan and spent the whole ride to the hotel talking about that three minutes we'd just spent in the cold.
Our hotel for this adventure was selected and reserved for us by Aunt Melody who inherited her mother's fondness for slot-machines and is therefore a VIP at this particular casino/hotel. A few weeks before we left for this trip Dad began hosting Casino nights at our Sunday dinner to help "prepare" us. As young, poor people neither Ellen and Lee nor Brett and I were particularly interested in gambling away our pennies. Mom also does not see the sport of it. But Dad was also helplessly bequeathed with Sadie's gambling gene and so created a life-size Craps poster that he laid across the dinner table to teach us all how to play. He also passed out informative printouts of BlackJack rules and probabilities. Admittedly, Lee and Brett became quite excited about BlackJack.
The majority of our time on this trip was spent wandering around a dark casino full of neon light clusters and dinging machines with the volume up too high. Walking through the casino on Thanksgiving morning actually made us sad. Not for ourselves mind you, but for the handful of local folks feeding their money to machines instead of having a celebratory meal with friends or family. Lee worried for the people in the casino, concerned that they would lose the money they needed to pay bills or buy food. Meanwhile Aunt Melody bounced from slot machine to slot machine winning coins, shrieking, and waving her arms with enthusiasm. That night we had a big Thanksgiving supper and were all in bed by 10:30. We were pooped.
The next day we visited the Falls. Due to cold weather and numerous previous visits, Melody and Joe stayed behind to donate to the hotel instead. The six of us put on everything we brought with us and stepped out of the hotel and walked over to Niagara Falls. I don't have many thoughts on this and I'll tell you why. It was a grey and dismal day and while Brett and I were delighted to go for a walk and breathe in something besides cigarette smoke, grey dismal days tend to make even the most inspiring feats of nature look kind of dull. I was underwhelmed by the Falls and I've decided it's because they put too many big buildings too close to it. If you want to emphasize something grandiose, you shouldn't put something larger right next to it. We also only saw the Falls from the top looking down, which everyone knows is how to take the most flattering photos because it has a slimming effect. I reckon that hopping onto a boat and sloshing your way up to the Falls would really put the scale and reality in perspective. I imagined wandering through a dense forest and emerging at the Falls and was then struck by the wonder of such a find. I wish it was still setup that way.
We then shuffled over to the visitors center where we watched a 30-minute cinematic masterpiece (that's sarcasm) depicting the history of the Falls. The reenactment started with an important Native American character (who Dad claimed was wearing white sneakers with her deerskin dress) and moved on to the industrial era when folks starting performing stunts in the vicinity. We learned that the first barrel ride over the Falls was performed by an unsuspecting cat, followed later by its owner who came up with the stunt just to gain fame and fortune. That crazy old lady was in her sixties and made the poor cat go a second time for her debut performance. We learned about the number of accidental rides over the Falls, tightrope walkers, and assorted seasonal facts. Lee slept through the bulk of the educational movie. Later that day, during a moment of silence, Brett stated that he does not approve of the treatment of cats in the area.
The return of Khaki-Man
and Lee's paparazzi photos.
From the movie we walked over to Canada to find a horrendous carnival town not unlike the casino we were staying in. It was a tourist trap strip of strange museums, costumes, flashing lights, indulgence, and the grotesque. It made Myrtle Beach look classy and we all expected more from Canada. We ate lunch at a burger restaurant that had a Reese Cup stuffed burger, if that gives you an idea of the kind of place we were in. We ordered salads and chicken sandwiches with names like "Crappy Tire" and "Son of a Beech." Mom couldn't withhold her laughter anytime our polite waitress said "Crappy Tire" with such genuine cheer. After lunch it became noticeably more cold outside. Being as bundled as I was, I hadn't noticed the cold as particularly momentous except for when the wind blew and except for my face which had lost its ability to express much. After a quick stop in a Hershey's shop for hot cocoa, the cold became too much for Lee and he ran back across the border without us. Ellen went with him for support.
Mom being tolerant.
With The Falls checked off our list, the rest of our trip was spent lounging, snacking, watching football, napping, and "gambling." Mom, Ellen, and I did not partake in any casino games except for a single moment where Mom walked right up to a Craps table, put five bucks on number sixteen, won $175, cashed out and went back to her room. Dad, Lee, and Brett gave themselves a BlackJack allowance and plopped down at a table to try their hands. Ellen and I squirmed around behind them as we watched our nest eggs go, though we did enjoy the banter with the dealers and watching Dad give knuckles to other players when they'd win.
Little Olivia wiggled around a bunch during this trip and once kicked Ellen so hard that it startled her. Tubby Ellen is fun because she get's winded easily so you can hear her wheezing and panting even when she's laying still. Ellen also couldn't button her coat over her big belly which I found very endearing.
Ellen was not interested in being in photos.
All unfinished meals are donated to Brett. His appetite impressed assorted waitstaff.
Bits I loved about this chilly adventure are as follows:
-invigorating temporary weather
-top-notch people watching
-warm beverages
-lots of family members scattered about creating unplanned run-ins which are so exciting
-the biggest, warmest duvet I've ever slept under
-watching Ellen waddle around with lots of layers on (limited mobility)
-my particularly warm feet
Coming home from Buffalo proved to be an additional adventure that I'd have rather skipped and will tell you about my next post.
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