We Cancelled Thanksgiving!!

What an outrage!!
You know, Thanksgiving is my favorite of the Holidays and your kin just swiped it out from under my feet! On account of clumsy in-laws and G-Bob's birthday everyone is coming over here tonight to celebrate for Bob rather than the pilgrims. I've decided I'm ok with this. Just this once.

As far as our Union Thanksgiving, things went on like normal with Ellen bringing her boyfriend to meet the family. Did I tell you his name is Chris? He's very nice. As you can imagine, Ellen had that defensive grin on her face the whole time, sneering and cringing at every turn. I found her discomfort most satisfactory. Jared came along too and despite his being around for the last three Thanksgivings, Zhidi still doesn't know who he is. Unfortunately I forgot to charge my camera thus I left it at home and have no pictures for you. I don't think this matters though. Most of those folks run from cameras faster than I do.

Therefore, enjoy these random finds.

That's Chris by the way. Aint he handsome?

 I shall keep you posted on this evening's festivities.

Some Cheese for That Whine?

I realized something. I complain a lot.

But you see, in my mind I'm not complaining. It's simply a running commentary. I'm not actually bothered by the things I observe. Either way, and most importantly, I really only complain about school. Do I whine about going to work? Do I complain about paying bills? Do I mewl at pumping gas in the cold? No I do not. In conclusion, once I am done with school (in just 5 short (long) months) I'll have noting to whinge about. I'll be a happy camper with nothing before me but open road and Mom and Dad's sofa. I hereby state that despite the dreary-some outlook I portray for myself on this silly blog of mine, I'm quite tickled for my bleak future of naps and good meals. Who could ask for more?

In other news, as an "artistic" assignment I had to write up my own obituary. Ahem...

"Sunday September 2, 2013

Laura Anne Union, 23, of James Island SC, passed away suddenly of morbid obesity after a life-long love affair with cake batter and pimento cheese.

Born in Kentucky and raised in South Carolina, Laura was best known for her thunderous cackle, squeamish demeanor, and severe urges for spontaneous naps and rearranging furniture. Laura enjoyed the simple things in life and always made time for the ridicule and scorn of others. Much of her time was spent in deep philosophical thought- coming to conclusions for both the inexhaustible woes of bathing suit shopping as well as the enigmatic yet seductive qualities of dark chocolate. The memorial service for Laura will be held this Wednesday Sept, 5, at Boone Hall Plantation where she worked for years, insisting on manual labor as her main form of income in a perpetual effort to dismiss “The Man”.

In lieu of flowers, Laura asks that you consider creating a rotational, volunteer-based schedule to ensure that her dog Buddy, may continue with his morning kayak rides."

It entertained me if nothing else. 

Briefly in other news, we are preparing for our Thanksgiving Day assaults by making Pumpkin Truffles and Mom's most recent attempts at making homemade toffee- something she has decided is her "next big thing". This has yet to work out.  I am done with school for a few days whereupon everything is due on my return next Monday. Ellen is planning to take a waiting job at "Barbra Jeans" in addition to her twice-a-week Bistro gig. She hopes this will bring her more money and therefore peace to the rest of us family members. For a solid 50 minutes, Mom, Ellen, and I convinced ourselves there was a "Tuna Ghost" in the house before discovering that the fishy odor was coming from Mom's bedroom shoes.

Dad continues his daily scurrying about, blindly barreling through everyday life with a bounce in his step and a phone on his ear.

* Mom insists I inform you that she in fact stepped in something "fishy" and that it was not her natural foot odor causing the offense.

Crappin' Film

I've have been immensely inconvenienced by school lately. (Whats new?) Next week is basically my last week of school so I've got a couple papers, a couple paintings, a film to make blah blah and then it's all over. After a leisurely brunch with an old Cupcake friend I showed up at mission control and modeled some new fashions for Mom. Then I fell asleep in my chair and was woken in a most abrasive manner by my vexatious sister.

You see, I came upon a startling discovery that my film project is due Tuesday. I thought it was due a week from now. Needless to say I had to ditch my hope of creating a film of my mexican loves and I made the below mess with the help of my surly family members who were burdened by my need for their assistance during a less-than crucial football game. Film is not my forte.

I'm actually quite put out about it. But for throwing in together in 30 minutes I can't expect too much. So you know, there were no rules or directions for this. They said, "make a two minute film". So thats what I've done.

Notice Ellen's slipshod folding job.



Interruptions at Hand from lunion90 on Vimeo.

Second Sunday

Charleston has taken to closing King Street on the second Sunday of every month. When I say closing King Street I mean to cars and various motorized people movers. This way all the little shops can leave their doors open and the restaurants drag tables and chairs in to the street so that people may dine outside in the parking lane. It actually brings out quite a crowd and this particular Sunday was sponsored by an animal shelter thus there were dogs everywhere. Jared and I used this opportunity for fun seeking.

And of course we stopped for ice cream.

You know what I've noticed?
Ellen must eat things out of the exact spot where she finds them.

I find wrappers and packaging where the product would normally be found. Alas the goody is always gone.

Perhaps It's Just a Lull

but life has been especially uneventful lately. Not that I mind. I can entertain myself til the cows come home but you, you I revel in attempting to shock and awe. I don't even have things to take pictures of!!

Well, I brought Dad some veggies.

There now. I've decided that I'm going to have to start savoring my precious blog posts for occasions that merit attention. I fear becoming one of "those" people. Even this post is another attempt at making my "I have nothing to say" announcement, new and exciting. But while I've got you here...

Ellen has jetted off to Miami this weekend to meet the suitor's family. This is good timing as Ellen’s attitude has turned even farther south in regards to her distaste for real life. You see, she’s been ridiculing me for a few years now about my lacking desire for “success” and my enjoyment for laboring in the great outdoors and living in creepy hostels eating only bread and citrus fruits. Also, she scoffs at my “hobo” clothes, perplexed as to why I don’t buy things that look like I care. Well I think little Belly is finally learning her lesson. Real life bites the big one and you should enjoy being poor and free while you are lucky to be just that. Alas, she won't listen to me. I'm younger and therefore I couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about.

I'm supposed to be doing my homework but you know what? Nope. I have to paint a portrait of my mouth. I never paid attention to the awkward structure of such things until I was tasked with this bogus assignment. I've decided art should not be a legal college major.

In Celebrity news, the other day Jared suggested that Buddy shares a striking resemblance to Susan Sarandon. Now it's all I see when I look at him. Mom however just doesn't see it.

There now. I will return when I have something to say. Bazinga!!

Battles n' Things

I've not mentioned that it is a frigid November. I've been sitting in my car at work in-between helping spiteful Yankees pick out produce. We've busted out our winter coats, long-johns, and thick socks. Speaking of which, for the first time since probably elementary school, I have purchased a pair of winter shoes. I'd forgotten what it's like to have warm feet when it's cold outside. I know that sounds stupid. I chose to believe that refusal to conform to Winter's harsh demands would create a shorter, warmer winter (it worked in 2007). Anyways, I have thick sturdy boots to help me through         tree-baggin' season. How exciting.

The point of todays rant centers around a cold as equally distressing as the weather. Every year (just before the Christmas tree-baggin' season) Boone Hall has one of those blasted battle reenactments. Let me point out, we only let this happen because we have a plot of land large enough and get paid for it, otherwise every staff member around hates this production. These are the meanest bunch of racist, sexist people. They come in and take over. They camp out for a week, building fires and "getting into character" and boy are they bossy. They completely degrade the Mexicans which breaks my heart and really makes my blood boil. They also sneer at us female workers, telling us not to work too hard and that we belong indoors. (Actually I find that a bit amusing). Last year one of them wouldn't even let me onto the farm because he didn't believe that I work there. He said, "Excuse me little lady. Where you think you tryin to get to?" Little lady!!! Oh No he didn't!!- but thanks for calling me little. Not a one of 'em says please or thank you.

In other news,

There isn't any other news. I've been in my school bubble. My classes are winding up and therefore encumbering me with even more drudgery and “take home tasks”. That’s was really sends me. Take home tasks. I expect to be left alone when I go home. School is for schoolwork. Home is for me time. Me time includes anything from napping to googling to even leaving my home for social outings or grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping.

Anyways, I have to make a short film for my art class final. My shriveled, Californian professor poo-pooed my first idea saying “like, I think... everyone’s gonna get it, like, right away. So maybe you need, ..…like what’s adding variety to your idea?”. So now I have enlisted the help of my Mexican loves for a new idea. A new idea focused on their beaming white smiles and full-o-character faces. A new idea consisting of conventional but metamorphic things. I'll let that artistically profound statement simmer with you a while. And I'll throw in this picture of my water bottle so I can really seem convoluted and imaginative. Or perhaps deep and expressionistic.