Portland Zoo

Omar and I went to the zoo. T'was a lovely zoo, just a little ways out of town and filled with foreign visitors. T'was a dense forest full of animal wonder. I think it's the nicest zoo I've visited. You were always walking through something lovely, even between exhibits. We saw bears, monkeys, hippos, elephants, giraffes, and other depressed lords of the animal kingdom. We also saw a number of obese visitors and a gaggle of screaming children.

Omar is quite a big bear fan. We watched the bears wrestle and pace and casually stroll through their own droppings. They were so furry and huggable. I loved their little feet and rounded behinds.

We enjoyed the perfect weather as we strolled past a pen of bobcats. We reluctantly traveled with a pack of people who always managed to catch up to us when we plowed ahead and also bogged us down with strollers and their rambunctious, handsy children. While we walked through a woodsy area to look at a blind bald eagle, we remarked about the beautiful scenery and the lovely day. I looked up at Omar and something caught my eye just behind him. I looked down and saw a black, orangoutang-size creature charging towards us on all fours through a hollowed out tree. I gasped and screamed. Omar looked over, shrieked and the both of clung on to each other in a blind panic. We could hear the little stomps getting closer. I was jumping and stomping my feet. Omar was silent and still. The creature emerged from the log, only three feet away. 

It was a little Indian boy.

People looked on in confusion. We of course began laughing riotously. Omar walked off with a confident stride while I stood, bent at waist with my hands on my knees. People looked at us with blank faces and only one Chinese teenager had seen what happened and chuckled to himself. 

I had thought an animal had escaped and was making a run for it. Omar says he reacted trusting that the loss of my typically calm demeanor meant it must really be grounds for panic. He says he blacked out as soon as he saw a blob headed his way.

Other highlights of our visit included handfuls of Wonka Runts and Omar tripping over a number of curbs. He also became frustrated by the amount of literature on the information plaques. He wanted less words and more pictures. He was excited by a children's plaque asking simple questions who's answers sat under little sliding doors at child level. He scampered over to find out "Who's tracks are these?" and he lifted a little door to a whole paragraph of text. He slammed the little door and shouted, "What is this, China?"

We then noticed we were in a sea of Asians.

We enjoyed our visit to the zoo but it was an emotional roller coaster. The shock, terror, hilarity and handfuls of candy really took a toll. We yawned constantly on our 20 minute drive home and though we had planned to head back out after a bathroom break and a glass of water, I sat down on the sofa and woke up three hours later.