Well That Was Irritating

 I'm free now. I've waited years for this. Apart from maybe beekeeping, zip-line operation, or foreign language, I don't intend to ever take a class again.

Oh Hello Real World. I'd heard you existed...

One More

This coming Tuesday is my last day of school. I have to read a story to my class and then I can leave.  This is all oddly anti-climactic. Isn't something extraordinary supposed to come falling from the sky and land at my feet? Shouldn't people be enthralled with my ability to make it through college? Should I not be on the cover of People Magazine?

I didn't think so. I remain apathetic about this ending, as though I've finally made it to the counter after a lengthy line at the DMV or perhaps boarding a perpetually delayed flight to Orangeburg. Perhaps I'm too preoccupied with my jobs and trip planning to notice any extraordinary details. You know what I've been thinking about?

Bougainvillea

Greece is covered in Bougainvillea. It's the only color around besides their bright blue doors. It grows best in hot places and it's one of my favorite plants. I've read that there are a bunch of different varieties and in Brazil it grows an almost neon purple color.

...and look how nice the green ivy leaves look next to pale red brick.

Should I be more concerned? I feel like I need to write something at least mildy profound about my college experience and what I've learned and blah blah. To be honest, I've felt very detached from the whole process since day 1. 

I was flat out angry when Mom and Dad dumped me out in front of my dorm in Savannah. "Can't believe they left me here." I muttered to myself, slinging my one bag over my shoulder and hiking it up the stairs to my room, passing people I considered to be children that were excited about this new "adventure". Mentally I was a thousand miles away, climbing mountains in New Zealand, kayaking off an island in South America, or living with foreign friends in Italy -picking olives and learning Italian. Yes, I can laugh at this but nevertheless, it was true. I spent my time in class figuring out the fastest way to get my work done so that I could go to sleep, making the next day come faster. This would bring me one day closer to the weekend whereupon I would drive home and seek refuge from the college experience on my rickety, wooden dock. 

I dreaded going back a second year. I still didn't care about memorizing fun facts. Perhaps if I had a goal or a job I wanted I would have enjoyed learning about it and working towards a specific future. But you know, the future's gonna show up whether I'm working for it or not. My bills will only increase, my ability to eat recklessly will fade, life will age my face, and I'll learn what I need as I go. College doesn't change that.

I've caused such a stink about this whole college thing that I'll be really embarrassed if it pays off. I need it to all have been for nothing or else I'm going to look foolish. I'm not doctor material. I'm not a scientist or a lawyer or even a business person. I'm laura. I like plants and sunshine. I'd rather cook for you than try to figure supply and demand for the newest ringing technological irritant. I'd rather we go sit outside for a while. 

So Congratulations Laura! You can frame the most expensive piece of paper you can never doodle on. You can hang it in your house for all to see. You can put "BFA" next to your name and scoff knowingly at people's tales of dorm food, roommates, and know-it-all professors. 

I know I sound like a jerky kid. I'm sorry. And who knows what will happen. Maybe one day the lightbulb will go off and it will all make sense to me. But for now...I think I'll go for a walk...

A Berry-less Festival

This past weekend was the Strawberry Festival at Boone Hall. This was my first appearance on the farm since my last day back in December. I hadn't seen my fellas in months!! Ohh!!! They make me so happy. Gosh I got so many hugs and a lot of "Laurita! Where have you been???"

Boone Hall used to do the Strawberry Festival every year. The first year I worked there they didn't do it because the crop was too small. The second year there was too much construction on the highway, blocking entrances and causing trouble. To reintroduce the Annual Strawberry Festival they went all out and hired a traveling carnival to set up camp on the grounds for the week. This went sensationally. People love those creepy carnival people and all of their sticky games and rickety rides. The only zinger we were thrown this festival was a lack of strawberries. We had some torrential rain you see. Flooded the feilds. Waterlogged the berries.

I didn't mind this. "Less work for me." I thought. Wrong. I spent two day slogging through mud, battling mosquitos and Yankees in an uphill battle to please everyone and produce berries for the harsh and demanding Mt. Pleasant townsfolk. Maybe that's a bit dramatic. It was a good time actually- didn't really do much at all one of the days. But oh how I enjoyed seeing all of my fellas again. I am pleased to announce that Jorge did in fact go get himself a new tooth and Antonio is getting married in December. She said yes.
For most of us this was wonderful news. To Bridget, a girl that works the front gate, it was a somber day. "Don't marry her!!" she shouted to no one. "I love you more!!"
I think she'll be ok with time.

I'll take some real pictures of the farm soon. Everything is just about to bust loose. The onions, the lettuce...oh and the berries. But here are some rental goats and the farm from the top of the Ferris Wheel- I rode with Bridget actually. Didn't know she was afraid of heights.
A rough day for Bridget.

Porch Dinner

Last Saturday Doug and Monica came over for dinner. Who are these two you ask? Well. Doug works with Dad on various projects and therefore has the distinct please of also running into Ellen on occasion. Poor guy. I had never met these two before but I tell ya, I fell for 'em real fast.

We ate our grub out on the porch, talking and laughing and telling stow-ries. Dad even created the above cheese tray and was immensely pleased with his artistic efforts. These fun folks even partook in the Passing of the Afro ritual. We have recently rediscovered a wig with bangs that Mom found in one of Dad's decrepit house projects ages ago. The wig suited Doug so much that I could no longer picture him with his normal hair. Monica actually looked sensational in the 'Fro and we all insisted she sport that wig from now on. Unfortunately I did not capture her with her 70's do but I did catch this gem...

I had so much fun with these people. I can't imagine the giggling that must go on when Dad and Doug are trying to get work done.

Amber and Andy

Amber and Andy are getting married. They came over Saturday and let me shove my camera in their faces to barely scrape by as "engagement" photos. I say this because I am no master photo taker. What if I blow it? What if I only catch them with one eye open or mid-sneeze or adjusting their clothes? What if I break my camera before I can even get the pictures out?? 

I've never paid any attention to Staged Couple Photos. I hate pictures where people are posing. I'd rather catch them off guard during genuine moments and reactions- which is how I end up with the pre-sneeze faces, tongues out, eyes closed etc. When they said they wanted me to take their engagement photos I became instantaneously nervous. "No no no! It's too important. Use a real person!" To be honest I still don't know the definition of "engagement photo". I think they are just Staged Couple pictures taken sometime between the proposal and dooms da...I mean the wedding. 

Thankfully Amber and Andy are extremely laid back (you have to be to put me in charge) and they allowed me the home court advantage by agreeing to taking the pictures utilizing my favorite subject of all. I have been convinced for some time now the the dock has magical powers that make everything out there radiant between 6:03 and sunset. But not in the winter.  

I took about 400 pictures of them in 20 minutes. I was nervous. They were able to finally ignore me after a few minutes and once they did that, snapping sweet photos felt as carefree as this lovely, good-humored couple. 

Union's Lately

Oh so much has happened since I last updated you. Yes, I know and I don't intend to continue with my lengthy gaps between posts. Which brings me to my first point. Actually, I'll get to that in a minute. But first, look how lovely things are around here...

It finally feels like Spring after such a harsh week of winter we had two weeks ago. I'm tickled to see the azaleas and am impatiently waiting for the jasmine. That's the best part. 

In Union news, Dad has boycotted desserts, found a new bike, planted a garden, and begun letting Buddy out to run free through the night and hope he shows up again in the morning. On account of my lacking journalism you wouldn't know that Baxter went missing for one week and one day. Mom has been quite distressed about this and finally put up two cardboard signs. Baxter promptly returned the next morning, talking and purring, and having no interest in his Meow Mix. We believe he was being harbored as a fugitive in some old folk's home. Mom has also been on a Spring Cleaning rampage, relocating things and finding balls of Buddy hair. She insists we look at the balls of hair. I'm not sure why.

Ellen has finally closed on her house and moved in all of her crap and cats. It's a cute little place that I'll give you a tour of once she hangs pictures. Ellen had lofty goals when she first moved in. "I'm going to plant a garden here, some flowers here, I want to put this here...". She saw a wasp the other day and has since turned her back on gardening of any kind. She is enjoying working for Mr. CnU and sometimes gets to ride around in the car with the boss. On occasion he brings her home for lunch and she gets so excited to see us that she is shocked and dejected when he stuffs her back into the car 10 minutes later to go back to the office. On account of her new house being only 3 minutes away, Ellen has been showing up for dinner fairly regularly and even staying for a round or two of Shanghai- if there is ice cream involved. 

Mom cleaned off the patio for our first meal outside.

Mom forbids me the publishing of her "old" face. 

In Laura news, well let me tell you. I finally broke down an had one of those milkshakes. Just knowing there are magical gems of ice cream blobs like that just right next door to my oversized desk is both a heartbreaking and riveting thing. I have not yet assessed how I will coexist with this knowledge as I now crave the icy chill of that first drop of frozen cream on my hot tongue, the bewilderment of finding a perfectly sized chunk of Oreo cookie just waiting to be crushed between my teeth and carried delicately down my throat. Gosh I'm drooling a little. 

I have approximately one-ish week of school left. I am oddly calm about the whole thing and simply feel as though I have a week until Spring Break or something equally as inconsequential. This does not feel like the end and while I am more than tickled that it's almost over, I feel no sense of relief or accomplishment. I have however decided to sell my Graduation tickets for flight booking purposes. People pay a lot of money for those things. I told Dad this is the only money I will ever make off college. I have also decided that instead of Graduation I would like everybody to go to the beach for sunshine, burgers, and a celebratory margarita. You're all welcome to come.

I have one more drawing, two more paintings, and a "reading performance" to partake in before I'm finished. I have the day off today which has not happened since February 2nd- not that I'm counting. The Boone Hall strawberries are here and ready for picking and the Mt. Pleasant housewives are redecorating for Spring. Busy stuff. 

As for today, I've decided to bake a carrot cake.

I Intend to Use my Camera Soon

I've decided I miss taking pictures so frantically like I do when the weather's nice. I'm a fair weather photographer you see. I'm at work now and am just itching to go outside and play. Also, I have the most horrific stomachache I've ever had. Pistacios. Go figure.

I'm debating sticking my head into the burger place and getting a milkshake despite being informed that milk is no good for belly busters. You know, Dad always gave us ice cream when we had stomachaches and I only remember it working out just fine. I don't want to become the furniture store heckler though. Always wanting ice cream and french fries. On the other hand, I am being urged to partake in an exercise class by some of the trainers at the gym next door. I'm pretending this is not because they see potential in my flabby disposition and it is simply because I am such a delightful conversation.

Oh will this pain not go away? I am currently bent at the waist typing at the computer on the 4ft counter. I hope no one comes in and finds me this way. This reminds me of when Carolyn and Dave ate at the Mustard Seed and Carolyn had to to run out, doubled over, clutching her stomach. "Stand up straight!" Dave shouted. "I am standing up straight!!" she screamed. It kills me.

Also, yesterday was the lovely Laurie Hon's birthday. I know I'm a day late but Happy Birthday Laurie!! I hope it was a good one!

Maddie on Things

Sometime last year I found this guy and his dog.

He started a photography series called Maddie on Things and had a ton of hilarious pictures of Maddie balancing on various objects. It has since turned into a huge collection of photos of Maddie but boy do they make me smile.