I had been going to a mobile church, if you will. Pastor Greg preaches his lessons waaaay over in Mt. Pleasant. I love Pastor Greg. His sermons are often like comedy routines. I think he knows this is the way to my heart. To avoid having to drive to Mt. Pleasant for the 30th time in one week, Seacoast Church set up benches and a big screen inside of my high-school cafeteria and they stream Pastor Greg in, live from Mt. Pleasant. This idea took off and I believe there are now over 300 "tele-churches" planted around the World - mostly in the U.S. but some folks in a few other countries tune in for their dose of Greg on Sundays.
One thing about church has irked me since childhood. I hate the Meet n' Mingle that takes place just before the sermon. I don't like shallow pleasantries. I don't want to tell you my problems nor can I remember all of yours. You don't know me. Let's keep it that way alright Buddy? For years now, the sweaty handshakes of a Sunday morning have sent me running for cover and thick paper towels. Though I attended Seacoast alone most Sundays, I endured the sweaty small-talk for some insights from Ole Greg.
Then to my horror, James Islanders found out about my cafeteria haven and began packing in like sardines. Suddenly I was sharing a bench with an exhausted mother and her two husky toddlers. No no! I cannot shake your sweaty hand AND be assaulted by baby Stuart's damp zebra doll. My safe place was safe no more. To make room for the incoming masses they moved the whole production to a movie theater and I was forced to bow out.
Now I know what you're thinking and I'm not actually as horrible as I make myself seem. When you go places alone, you often remain alone. I like alone, but I never hung around long enough to befriend any fellow Seacoasters, therefore packing into the tight rows of a movie theater, whose lights really don't brighten much past that of a night light, became a stressful situation. I got tired of the Theater Shuffle you do when someone from the middle seat needs to get out. As the loner, I would often have to relocate so that families could sit together and I wound up keeping the space between sets of friends. The only good thing to come out of the big move was that the Meet n' Mingle was a bit more strangled and I only had to ooze my wet palms across the folks fighting me for an armrest.
Then when the cute, curly-haired surfer boy that lead the music ministry cut off his golden locks, the redeeming value of hanging out in that bunker on Sunday mornings proved unworthy of my time. From then since, I have been streaming Pastor Greg on my computer, from the safety of my bedroom, watching him crack biblical jokes and making my way though boxes of Kelloggs' greatest accomplishments.
While I hate to give up Greg, I secretly enjoyed this new tropical church with it's light yellow walls and big windows. I was secretly tickled to be surrounded by others who, perhaps because I wasn't alone this time, approached me with casual hello's, relieved of the duty to make the lone girl feel welcome. I also enjoyed throwing looks at Ellie when the Pastor unknowingly stated our favorite of inside jokes, one after the next. While there are no cute, curly-locked surfers to match the decor, I did find myself chuckling on occasion and even withholding some of my Dad-like dance moves for the closing song. It was so catchy!
It's a lovely church. Or as baby Ellen would say "House of Cod."
No comments:
Post a Comment