Whoopsie

My somewhat anticipated mini-panic is starting to set in. What am I doing out here? 

Nothing. That’s what.

So you know how I wanted to go out West? 

It never occurred to me that maybe this shouldn’t be a solo gig. So maybe I rushed into things. It’s a learning experience. Here’s what I’ve learned. You shouldn’t climb mountains or drive hours away to tiny towns by yourself. Girls can’t wander around alone at night and eating dinner by yourself is lonely business.

I’m very interested in my reaction to all this. My whole life I’ve always felt like there is the Laura that does things, making decisions and mulling over life, and there's a Laura that just watches that other Laura do stuff. She's not judgmental nor does she offer insights. She's just auditing the class. The Watcher Laura is intrigued because Doer Laura has spent oodles of time wandering around foreign countries without an ounce of panic (ok, maybe an ounce. It is me after all) and now, Laura is in her own country and feeling very unsure about things. I realized why though.

While roaming around in a place where everything is different, you have an objective. Even if that objective is just to have ice cream that day. You have a hostel to sleep in, a ticket out of town at some point, and a passport to keep you out of almost all kinds of trouble. Since realizing my “objectives” aren’t so easy to accomplish as a lone female, I have nothing with me but a car full of crap and limited funding. I can get in trouble in this country because I know all the rules.

AND due to some unforeseen expenses, I can’t even afford to drive home. I’m TRAPPED!!!

In other news, it is breathtakingly beautiful out here. Every time I get on the freeway I almost cause a number of potential accidents because I’m looking at the beautiful mountains and not the traffic in front of me. Portland remains a lovely place as well, though the downtown is like any city and I find it very stressful and tight. I like the spots surrounding the downtown and have in fact picked out my favorite neighborhoods. Portland is like mushing Switzerland with Alaska and sprinkling in some Charlotte NC.

So...

I just need someone to come out here and explore with me. Any takers?