La Spezia

After a quick train ride, made complicated by a Beverly Hogan, we made it to the coast and boarded our vessel. We unpacked our things after our Welcome Lunch and took naps until it was time for our muster drill. Jared and I received scowls from our mulleted Life Captain for not taking things seriously. At our first Big Dining Room meal Jared and I took to giving the waiters nicknames. Consuelos, Arugula, and Soft Lips were among our favorites. As usual Dad attempted to learn "Thank you" in a number of foreign tongues and was politely told to "keep practicing" by many-an unamused waiter. Mol-tu-mesk!
Our dinner continued with disapproval by the women folk as Dad and Dave resorted to bathroom humor and general off-putting comments. Somehow Ellen wound up in a bad mood and went to bed promptly after dessert. The rest of us headed up to the Late Night Disco where Mom did the electric slide with our cruise director, Dottie.

Mom had to call to wake us up and inform us we had made it to our first port. Mom, Jared, and I surpassed a buffet style breakfast for the luxury of one served in the Big Dining Room. I had what tasted like Piggly Wiggly cheese on my omelet and Soft Lips was our waiter.

Once in town we wandered aimlessly.

Ellen didn't like the directionless wandering. Dad wanted to go back to the ship for the Mexican food buffet. After just a short while those two and Dave headed back to the ship. Though La Spezia is very cute there was not much to do there. Georgia and Colleen to went off to Portovenere and in Mom and Carolyn's attempt to do just that, they got off one stop to early and wound up at the beach with no way out. Once on our own, Jared and I continued our wandering for another 30 minutes or so, laughing at ourselves and discretely following people who we decided were young and "with it". Turns out they were going to the post office.

Once back onboard we in fact partook the Mexican buffet and found Ellen lounging by the pool. After an afternoon of ironing and housekeeping tasks we all met up for dinner where we decided that "Big Dottie" may have previously been a man. We amused ourselves throughout the journey by mimicking her low rumbling voice. Back in our after-dinner hangout, Mom and Jared danced to bad jukebox music. There were drinks and/or cigars and we met Panos, the piano man, who would quickly become Aunt Georgia's smoking buddy. Jared and I stayed up a bit with Panos before heading off to bed, laughing at Ellen's sloth like behavior and our adorable Polish housekeeper, Gosia, who references her communist upbringing and a longing for Barbies as a young girl.