Ellen's Job

Ellen's job is killing me. Here I sit. Day after day. It's one thing to have a desk job. It's another to just have the desk.
I don't have anything to do. No filing, organizing, labeling, or even mail to open. I'm just here in case the phone rings. And in case you were wondering it has rung twice this week. Once while I was reading about Kim Kardashian's baby and then another time as soon as I got comfortable in the bathroom. I have learned that I am no match for life- if this is life- and I now proclaim for myself a life of wandering, odd jobs, and being poor. I'm excited about this. I've got time. Theoretically.

First on the docket is my European trip somewhere cold. Scandinavia you say? That's a thought. Nothing like salmon from a squeeze tube for breakfast.

I noted in my trip journal that I felt like a "swarthy troll" walking around in Stockholm. Everyone there is very tall and very blonde and very attractive. Like walking light beacons. I was a short, voluptuous, dark person in ill-fitting clothes. It greatly contradicted my life's ambition of blending in and going unnoticed. Also, my thunderous cackle. Folks are quiet up there. I actually read that it is rude to cause a scene of any kind. This includes blasts of laughter and even scolding your child. Kids don't cry in Sweden.

Also on the mind is bonnie Scotland. The land of my one true love... Craig Ferguson. You know there's good kayaking in Scotland. Though I think the water is too cold for my southern disposition. Speaking of which, I've been doing my Asian girl arm exercises. I bet I could tackle those rough Welsh waves this time around. All of the trip failure and planning and rearranging and canceling and grieving is really distracting me lately. It has been seven days since I gave Mattie "the call" and I have not for one second been able to stop thinking about it. Well, except when I read that Kim named her baby North West. Really?

I have thirty minutes left on my sentence today and then I'm headed downtown as Jared has locked himself out of his apartment and I have his spare key- for this very reason. He leaves Sunday for the big city. I'm really excited for him. This will be the first time in his life that he will need a real winter coat.
Silly Caribbean folk. (like I've ever needed a winter coat).

I'm rambling because I emailed pictures of Ellen's desk and workspace to myself to post here and I'm waiting for them to come through. They aren't coming. I suppose I'll stop this now, though I hate to leave you with only a picture of Salmon Paste.

Ellen's Digs

It seems we have an update on the rare and elusive Union Cave Species. To present herself as more sociable, the shorter Union, with the pet felines, has moved herself out of The Cave and into a charming new home located conveniently across the street from the Piggly Wiggly, one of her favorite places for hunting and gathering.

This little Union proudly claimed her territory, painting the walls a light color and moving in her own furniture and decor. While she claims her bright new haven invites a tidier side of herself, the taller Union, with the big teeth, is skeptical. On account of little Union being away on vacation with her Cave Man, tall Union is in charge of the pet kitties and their litter box. She hates to admit it, but the place is pretty clean.

Here we have the living room. Used for slumping, slouching, meal consumption, burping, lazy afternoons, and Kitty Love Time.

She has a tiny, well-lit kitchen which unfortunately possess no food for the house sitter to partake in.

Her little place also has a nice little deck that overlooks a lake to the left and a glowing CVS sign to the right. The tall Union would have ventured out on this deck for photo opportunities however she was perplexed by the sliding door and could not get out of the house. She grunted with disgust before abandoning the thought all together.

This is little Union's sleeping and grooming quarters. This is the tidiest she has ever kept her bedroom and is therefore met with much distrust by the taller Union. She had a good search the first day for any indication of previously living a life of slobitude, alas there were no results.

The only nod to her cave-like upbringing, this room technically belongs to the taller Union, though she has never actually been invited to stay here.

As far as noted, the little Union has done a 180˚ turnaround, abandoning her cave-like lifestyle all together. She is now clean and bright, happily employed and in a steady relationship with a sought-after Yankee Cave Man. This entirely cancels out all previous studies and observations. Our reports will now shift over to the tall Union, who appears to be jobless and living with her parents.

Relapse

Perhaps I got a little too excited. Maybe it just wasn't so hot when I went outside. I dared go for a walk Downtown the other day and to say the least, I barely made it home. I felt terrible. I just can't take heat. Not yet anyway.

I made an extremely difficult, in-denial, kind of decision when I called Mattie and told her to go to Greece without me. She was not happy. I was even more upset and had to remain professional as she frantically looked for ways to replace me or push back dates or anything we could do to fix things before our departure date next Friday. I've ruined her summer plans. I feel awful about it. To make matters worse, we had just booked our flights on Monday- only three days before. I agreed to let her give my ticket to anyone she could find to go with her so spontaneously. A call to Delta informed us that Buddy Passes are non-transerfable and non-refundable. The ticket is in my name. I can change the destinations but I'm the only person allowed to use this ticket before it expires. I hope Mattie doesn't think I did this on purpose.

Despite my immense monetary loss (it will take months to recover!! and a job. Whaa??) there is a ray of light. Mattie is now leaving Monday for Ireland for twelve days with a friend until her other Greece visiting friend arrives in Athens and then they can go to Paros together. Mattie was worried about being in Athens alone and having her friend get in and not know how to get a ferry to Paros. So this gives Mattie an extra adventure in a new country and an escort to her Grecian Paradise. This makes me feel a little better.

While I know I shouldn't, I suggested to Mattie that I may come to Paros a little later and just spend the last two weeks of the month there. After all, I now have this ticket and I'd be reducing my heat exposure in half. Granted I've been watching the temperature there dance around in the 90's- almost reaching 100˚ this Thursday. It's been about 84˚ here. I know I'm kidding myself. I've also got to cancel my flight to Barcelona and wipe dreams of Churros from my brain.

I'm happy news, (Gosh I rambled on and on about me me me and am just now getting to the fact that) Ellen and Chris have left for their Caribbean Cruise! We had a final family dinner the night before they left and they spent yesterday in Miami with Chris' family. Today they board their ship which is a vacation in itself. I can't think of the name of it but it's that giant Royal Caribbean one that's so big it has "neighborhoods" and a zip-line that runs from one end of the boat to the other. Something about that strikes me as funny. Anyways it will be a trip to remember I'm sure. I'm in charge of the fat cats while she's gone- yes Georgie, I'll finally take some pictures for you- and also will be taking her seat at the Realty office this week as Dad needs someone to answer the phone and well, I'm not going anywhere.
Dad bought me a pity tank of gas yesterday.

In more not-so-good news, Mom's back went out and she's stuck in an awkward and painful position. I feel so bad for her and have been saving my trip-related temper tantrum for when she feels better. Mom is very rarely in a bad mood, she's never mean, and I would never describe her as cantankerous but now... C.R.A.B.B.Y.
It was kind of funny at first. We would laugh as I molded her up onto the sofa, mushing her legs into a good position. Seems it's lost it's charm.

So there you have a Union update. I'm off for some lunch now. Really work up an appetite sitting in the AC, watching Mom watch the ceiling.

Just think, I'm jobless, heat intolerant and possessing a Summer/Fall plane ticket to Europe... what comes next?

I Went Outside!!

and the air never smelled so sweet! I've been all cooped up, hiding from the sun, and cowering in an air-conditioned corner. Ellen, Chris, Dad and I had some dock time this weekend and I never once felt like keeling-over or throwing up the pounds of bugs and yogurt I've eaten in the last week.
I'm such a catch.

I've even splurged and went for a walk yesterday morning. It was scary. I tiptoed down the street, nervously focused on the heat mirage wafting off of the hot cement road only 50 yards away. I walked like Buddy, zig-zagging across the road to stay in the shady spots. There were three stretches of no shade. I braced myself for impact ...and then became thoroughly distracted by some tiny white flowers. Before I knew it I was lost in thought about summertime things and how much I wanted a plate of french fries. Before I knew it I was rounding the corner, gazing lovingly at Ari's house, picturing her car in the driveway and loading up for a beach day. 

Speaking of which, Ari says it's very hot in NOLA and she's been enjoying snowballs and ice cream cones. If I was made of money I would most definitely be down there with her right now, ingesting only the best unhealthy foods and wallowing in powder sugar. 

That's was they do there. Ever heard of Cafe Du Monde?

Mattie, Dogs, and Gruesome Artwork

This week has been a doozie for me. On top of presenting the worst painting I've ever done to a paying client (if you will), I was house and dog sitting for two places AND the lovely Mattie Bush showed up for an impromptu trip to Charleston. I'm exhausted.

Mom and Dad, Carolyn and Dave, and Ruth and Bob spent the last week out at Edisto. I was left here alone on Pet Patrol to watch the house and do a painting I was asked do for someones Father's Day present. Alright. I can do that. Wrong!! Monday night Mattie showed up and of course I was thoroughly distracted by her tales of celebrity watching in France and all the typical Mattie antics that followed. No worries, I'll paint in the morning. Wrong!! We NEEDED Krispy Kreme which is so close to Downtown that we may as well go wander King Street. No worries. I'll paint tonight. Wrong!!

I received a phone call from Ari's ex-coworker who desperately needed a last minute dog sitter. Well alright. This girl has a swanky apartment with a great view and a tiny little "step-on" dog. Sure I'll watch her. Turns out it can't be left alone at night so Mattie and I slept there. Well, Mattie slept...on top of me.

Alright alright. I'll paint on Wednesday. Nope. I had acupuncture that day and then we met some Mattie family members for dinner. I ended up completing my horrific piece of artwork in a number of 30 minute intervals throughout these days. I had to run home to let Buddy in and Baxter out. Feed Buddy, Baxter in. Buddy in, feed Baxter outside blah blah. Don't forget to walk the Step-on dog. Mattie wants to see a movie. Don't forget your bug pills. Your painting is still wet. Step-on had an accident. Buddy needs to play. Grah bleh whaa!!!! It's a good thing I'm unemployed.

Whining aside, it was so fun to see Mattie and she made me so excited for the pending Greece trip. Saying no would really be tough. Who am I kidding? I was raised by the leisure club. I'll probably go.  

I did finally meet Carter, the guy who wanted the painting, Thursday evening where I truly threw it at him, apologized, and ran away. No, I did not take any money for it. It was appalling.  Tonight we are having a Dad and Chris (Chris n' Chris) birthday dinner somewhere with Jazz music. I'm quite excited. Ellen is leaving for a cruise in just a few days and we realized that this Sunday will be our last family dinner for the summer. After this week, Ellen will be missing. Then Jared leaves for his big New York adventure, and then I'm off to faint my way through Europe.

Mom and Dad will be empty nesters. Ohhh!!!

I Feel Kinda Sick

These potent bug pills are making me queazy. I've been slumped over for a few days now partially cause of the bugs, partially because Ari is gone, and partially because theres nothing else to do when you're unemployed and can't go outside. In all of my down time I've been working on a painting and looking through old grainy trip pictures.
Which is exactly what I will delight you with today. Ahem...

Here we have Ellen in her natural position, in her natural environment (that's a cruise ship mind you) giving me the only look I've ever really received from her.

This was an extremely exciting trip as we were visiting both Greece and Turkey and Ellen and I had our own room on the boat. It's the little things (says the snob). Ellen promptly turned on us, spending most of the daytime in bed and emerging only for dinner and that day's Port of Call.

While wandering new places, she was delightful, spunky, and dare I say happy, but as soon as she was done with a place, she was DONE. Back to the ship she flocked with Dad just a few steps behind her. I filmed a lot of this trip actually and in literally every shot involving Ellen, she's laying in bed. We all find this riotous and you can hear us in the film laughing about once again finding her in a horizontal position. She however finds it much less amusing and consistently scorned my video camera with looks similar to those of prison inmates that don't wish to be filmed.

I also dug up three of the five pictures I took on my European Backpacking Adventure with Ari and Jared. I'm so mad now that I took no pictures of this trip. I was simply far too distracted to be bothered with capturing the moment. I was livin' it!!!

These reagal looking figures are Ari and Jared on the Coastal Hiking Trail in Scotland that we followed for 20 miles, count 'em 20, to end up in the next town for Fish n' Chips. 

This hike was actually overseen by Lukas, who we had just met and I was secretly thankful he was there. Not just because of his mannish good looks but because I thought surely a disaster was on the way with this undertaking and I was glad a capable semi-local was there to rescue us from danger.

The adventure can best be described as a hot, dangerous, sunburnt, sore legged, ticking hips, stubbed toe, poisonous plants, river forging, stomping, rock climbing, tripping, whining, wheezing, bleeding, and painful hike so you can imagine my attractiveness level was at an all time high. No wonder Lukas liked me. Seriously though, it was the greatest most beautiful hike. If you had asked me that night as I peeled my wet dirty socks off of my swollen blistered feet if I would do that again, I still would have said yes. 

As a side note, the three of us were stiff and swollen for roughly a week after but particularly those first three days. When we woke up the next morning it took the three of us pushing each other around the house like geezers, propelling ourselves into the next room, and tying each others shoes to get us out of the house and back on the town. We waddled down the street at a glacial pace looking for any excuse to stop and rest. "Oh look. A Scottish pigeon!" We had to help each other sit down, bend over, and attempting stairs of any kind was entirely out of the question. We did run into Lukas that day, who was bounding down the road at his everyday turbo speed. Not a sore muscle on his body. I heard Jared wince when Lukas gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

These are Jared's crows-feet in Ireland. This is Galway. A wonderfully friendly town full of music and seafood. Gosh did I ever tell you we were kidnapped just outside of this place? I'm serious. It was a friendly kidnapping and we were even taken to their home for breakfast but it was mildly scary nonetheless. Thats a long story though. Another time.

 The middle of this adventure was spent with Ari's cousins in Sweden. This is their little red house on the water. I was not expecting the prettiness factor of Sweden. It was so crisp and bright. And also very clean and quiet. Them Swedes don't cause no scenes. When we arrived in the crowded train station in Stockholm the noise level was not much more than the low hum of Church Pleasantries before the singing begins on Sunday morning. Anyways, Martina lives a little ways out of the city with her truly happy happy family that is always laughing and drinking boxed wine. They were incredible hosts and made us feel right at home.

Oh and I almost forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my old man. I love ya Pops. 

Don't care what they say about you.

Herbs n' Things

Before I get started on today's rant, look at this oldie-but-goodie. Alston kills me!

So, get this.

Last week before she left, I went with Ari to see an acupuncturist. Ari has been seeing this nice lady for a few months now for a couple of different health reasons and she's been ranting and raving about how much better she feels and all this good stuff on and on. I was skeptical. I pictured curtains of beads and shrunken heads floating in jars of plant syrups.

I was shocked to walk into a professional doctors office that provided you with hot tea, ginger candy, and home improvement magazines. The lady, her name is Karyla, is a normal, Italian-American human being. She just found herself interested in herbal medicine, which lead to Asia, which leads to sticking people with pins in all the right places.

I know it's a weird thing, but it's more a matter of changing your perception of what medical treatment is. In Asia, people see this kind of doctor first, before they consider antibiotics and hospitals. Karyla was extremely nice and funny and could laugh about how kooky her herbal talk sounded at times. She was able to explain acupuncture and herbal medicine to me in a way that actually does make sense if you take the time to consider it. It's just a different way of thinking about health and healing. Anyways, I casually mentioned to her that heat was bothering me and making me dizzy. "When did it start?" she asked. "About a year ago, after a trip a to Greece." I replied. And then she asks lightheartedly, as though she already knew the answer, "Were you on antibiotics in Greece?" I was. I was!! Remember that bacterial throat thing I got towards the end of my trip? They gave me some really high powered antibiotics. I remember Abby being concerned about the prescription, saying it was very strong and in the States, this particular antibiotic is prescribed for really big problems, not a bad sore throat. But I took them like they said. I finished the round of 'em a week into Wales and another week later was my first big dizzy spell, like the ones that have plagued me since I've been back. 

I became so excitable when she asked me this question. I don't know why. I think I just knew that she just knew. She told me basically that the antibiotics were too strong and wiped out the good "flora" in my stomach and intestines that help to keep my body cool and in balance. She says this happens a lot actually. The antibiotics kill more than just the bad stuff and leave peoples insides like dry, barren deserts. She told me to eat lots of Greek yogurt.

Oh, I meant to show you this picture. I think Ari had 19 pins in her. Three on her face!!

Anyways, I continued grilling her and even set up my own appointment to come and talk to her, which I did yesterday. Oh as a fun fact, she told me that hot flashes are in the same category of my ailment, and that they are predominately caused by eating too much sugar and carbs (and a dwindling supply of estrogen) (See! Throwing off that flora balance). She said that the plain Greek yogurt helps your body to cultivate the good flora that keeps your body cool. Mom was devastated when I told her this, though she promptly consumed almost the entire tub of yogurt Dad had purchased to help heal his sick child. Thanks Mom.

I told Karyla that I was worried about going back to Greece. She told me that being hot is a little dangerous for me just because my body can't cool itself properly. She gave me some strong probiotics which she explained to me as microscopic bugs that will make my good flora grow back. I take these strong ones for two weeks and then I move down to some less potent ones. She did say that it will take 3-6 months for me to get back to how I was before (a lover of the humid days) but that this certainly won't last forever, especially if I eat my yogurt and lay off the sugar. Consider it a Christmas present, she said. "To be back to normal by New Years."

After feeling "not myself" for a year, I'm somehow disproportionally excited that only 6 months from now I'll feel good again. I just have to make it through this hot summer...

What Now

Well geez. Everything really cleared out of my life fast. No school (not complaining), no jobs, no Ari, no outdoor activities...
To break my heart further I have been informed that Jared will be moving to NYC July 1st to start his new gig running the 5th Avenue store. I'm super excited for him. But come on!!!!

Meanwhile I'm debating whether or not it's a good idea for me to gallivant off to the hot, exotic locales I have selected for this summers travels. I'm very worried about it actually. What if I get too hot over there? There's no AC in Greece!!

While these concerns strangle my ability to frolic through each day, we've been enjoying some lovely summer meals.