Alright Already!!

Sheesh! Here Aunt Georgia! I know I know. It's about time you say. Yes, but my apartment tour comes with a disclaimer. I realize I said Sunday for these pictures alas I've not informed you as to the occasionally cumbersome elements of our new digs. Our apartment, though abundantly spacious and much less hairy, possesses the same architectural components of those South American Bat Caves. We have only one window to light the place. Now this is a very nice tri-window and the 10 feet in front of it are very well lit and inviting. Once you step out of the sunroom, which possesses The Window, it is a bit dark. Even farther from the dark living room is the cavernous kitchen which requires false florescent lighting no matter the time of day. Point being, I did not give you The Tour on Sunday because it was raining and when it rains, Ellen and I become so accustomed to the dark that we recoil from light all together. We don't like the false lighting set up we have here alas, we left it dark, and that is no state for picture taking. I did however utilize the Flash on the camera for your viewing pleasure.

As a final note, as much as I enjoy making things look "pretty" I had no time to be artsy in my capturing the essence of our crypt. I didn't have time to spruce things up for the photos. You'll see this is especially true upon viewing Ellen's chamber.

This is raw unedited habitat footage of the rare and elusive Union Cave Species.

Though the entrance to this cave sits opposite the light source, lets start where most cave exploration begins. The sunroom. One of the Union creatures (the taller one with the big teeth) uses this well-lit space for her artistic expression and cultural documentation. Though the shorter Union is allowed in, this space is exclusively used by the one Union. Both Union's have been seen basking in the sunlight just long enough to amass enough vitamin D before heading back into the cave. Also, the pet felines enjoy lounging here. Especially when there is wet paint to be distributed.

Heading farther inside you will find the space designated for slumping, slouching, flopping, and general lazy gatherings. Though this space is most often utilized by the smaller Union, who enjoys a strict T.V. watching schedule, both Unions have been seen wrestling and dancing in this spacious area. These are cultural rituals of the Cave Union's which must be performed bi-weekly to ward off bad spirits.

After a long day of hunting and gathering, often in sunny places, the Union's drag their kill to their prep area. This is by far the darkest passage in the cave though the most widely used by both creatures. They enjoy preparing their meals together though they rarely eat the same thing. As far as sustenance, it is every Union for themselves. Occasionally you will witness a snarling dual over one Union stealing food from the other. These are violent battles which often result in silence throughout the cave for several hours.

Here is one of the passages that lead to the separate sleeping and grooming areas of each Union.

The first entrance leads to the chamber of the taller Union. Though she is typically a tidy creature, she has not bothered to properly move in and clean her quarters. She has been busy these last few months and has dedicated little time to making a cozy space for herself. She does however thoroughly enjoy having a large closet for her bear skin dresses and cow hide sandals.

Moving farther back into the cave is the ever-sullied, shorter Union's chambers. This Union, we noticed, has little patience for excessive cleanliness or organization. This little Union comes in, gets what she needs, and then exits. She often sleeps under a pile of her own belongings and throws large violent tantrums upon having difficulty finding certain clothing articles. Being that her dwellings are in the back of the cave, the taller Union rarely ventures to this area. She is often not welcome in this part of the cave and is very put off by the disorder. The small Union does however, enjoy a large well lit bathroom with lots of storage and a large tub for scrubbing off dirt and other cave grime. 

Please ignore the deviant sexual acts of the pet felines.

As of now, this all the information we have gathered on the Union Cave Species. They are a busy breed with little time for socializing and entertaining, therefore, the cave rarely needs "sprucing". For more information on the habits of these rare creatures you may schedule an appointment with the taller Union via email.