November Blues

Oh I just realized that's a song. Actually, one of my favorite twangy songs of all time is called Denouncing November Blue. You should have a listen.

I'm in a funk. A funk I tell you!! Why you ask? Well!
I have recently been slapped with reality and discovered that the life I lead is optimistic and senseless. That's right, I just made optimism into a bad thing. I have to get a job. A real job. A pencil skirt, financially stable, sweaty palms kind of a job. But here's the kicker. That would make me totally unhappy.
If you take away spontaneity, time for adventures, and most of your daylight hours what do you have left? A few laughs before bedtime? Is it selfish that I don't think that's enough?

All the old folks in the world will tell you that life is short and you should make the most of it blah blah. Old folks usually know what they're talking about. If this life is short, I'd rather have less money if it means more time. Time for people and laughing and just sitting in the sunshine. But I can't pay rent doing that.
So instead I'll take a mundane, maddening job filing papers and sitting inside dreaming of summertimes climbing trees and planting flowers. I'll have a routine.
I hate routine, which is precisely why I have proclaimed the November Blues - because I have a set Finn and Restaurant schedule and I know exactly where I will be at any given hour of each and every day. And even that wouldn't be so bad if I cared about any of the things consuming all of my hours. But I don't. I just don't.

I'd like to care about something please. Is that so wrong? Is this a spoiled kid thing or is this normal? How do people live this way???

I'm always hesitant to whine on this blog. You know I'm a happy kid right?